I'm turning twenty one in a few days and unlike most girls my age, I have never had a boyfriend.
Some people may think that it's weird for to have remained alone for this long and that there's something wrong with me. That I am bound to be forever alone—I hate it.
When I meet people who I haven't seen for years and they ask me how my love life is, they would gasp when I'd say that I've never been in a relationship. Some of my friends and relatives would tease me about being single and it can get a bit overbearing sometimes. I know that I'm single and I have been all my life, but do I really need to be reminded of it?
Just because I'm single doesn't necessarily that I'm lonely. I am surrounded by friends and family who love me dearly. I love myself enough to not feel the need to be loved by someone else.
Don't get me wrong. Of course I want to fall in love. I'm a hopeless romantic, actually. I may not have this perfect guy in mind, but I know that the right person and the right time will come for love to enter my life. As cliché as it sounds, I still believe it's true. I mean I don't want to get into a relationship just for the heck of it. I don't want to force myself into loving someone who I truly don't have any feelings for.
There are times when I do feel lonely especially around Valentine's Day. It's the time when love is in the air and you see couples everywhere. Then I start to wonder what it would be like to have someone who would deeply love you. I start to imagine how it feels like to have someone who would greet you everyone morning and kiss you goodnight before you go to bed. How it would be like if you had someone to hold your hand as you walked. How it would feel for someone to make you feel that inexplicable happiness. Then I start to wonder, why haven't I found the right person yet? Why haven't I fallen in love yet?
When people ask me why I still haven't had a boyfriend, I don't really know how to answer them because I don't know either. It's not that I don't want to fall in love, it's just that I've been so focused on life, on myself, on the people around me, and making my dreams come true that I forget to think about falling in love. I'd like to think that I want to make my dreams come true first before I become someone else's come true.
I know that I'm still young and that I shouldn't rush things. I still have my whole life ahead of me. I still have a lot of time to fall in love. People may say that there's something wrong with me for being like this, but at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is what I think—waiting for the right person and waiting for love to come will make falling in love even much more sweeter someday.
Cath Talavera blogs at bookishcath.tumblr.com.