From Our Readers: Why the Rain Reminds Me of You
Rain, the thing I hate most. Before I met you, I already hated rain but not as much as when you chose to leave.
It reminds me so much of you. It reminds me how I complain to you whenever it rains. I remember how you said I should be happy when it rains because you're happy when it happens. Rain reminds me of how we met. It reminds me of your I love yous and pick-up lines. It reminds me of how we were in love with each other. It reminds me of the days we didn't chat because of the typhoon that destroyed the electric wires and poles which caused a complete shut down of electricity in our place. It reminds me of cold nights without you by my side. It reminds me how artistic you are. It reminds me of your voice, how good you are in singing. It reminds me how I smiled like my lips got ripped whenever you send me a video. Rain reminds me of sleepless nights and unending texts. It reminds me of how I trusted your words. It reminds me of how we planned our future. It reminds me of how you scare me at night when I'm alone. It reminds me of those scary pictures you've sent me. It reminds me of how sick you were and I was just waiting for your fever to go down. It reminds me of how I always been there for you. It reminds me of the songs we played together, the songs we've shared with each other and each word of those songs perfectly describe what we felt for each other. It reminds me of the things I usually do when you were asleep. It reminds me of the places that we want to visit someday. It reminds me of how we see ourselves after we finish college. It reminds me of so many unforgettable things.
But, it also reminds me of the time when I've hurt you so much. It reminds me of the broken promises and our unfulfilled plans. It reminds of how my life flowed when you still there listening to my stories. It reminds me of the late night texts, the feeling of being together when we're not. It reminds me the feeling I've felt when you ended our relationship. It reminds me how I talk to myself in front of the mirror just to remind myself that I'll be fine. It reminds me of every word you've said the last time we talked. It reminds me of how I tried to smile whenever I see your picture after our breakup. It reminds me how I had a hard time sleeping. It reminds me how broken my heart was. It reminds me that everything is gone, everything is now over.
Someday, rain will just remind me how I've loved and be loved. It will just remind me that we had it perfectly but at the wrong time. It will just remind me that once upon a time, we shared our happiness and love. It will just remind me that our relationship once worked but sadly, it was just for a short period of time. It'll just remind me the thing you've said that we'll still have a long journey in life. It will just remind me the lessons I've learn from our relationship. It will just remind me that you've did it for me, for us.
Rain reminds me of how you've given up on us but I know rain will also remind us that we can still forgive, forget the pain, and start again. Maybe not as lovers but as friends. I may still hate the rain right now but I know someday, I'll love it the way you do. Maybe someday rain will make me happy, like what it did to you. Maybe it will remind me of you, of us being happy and whole again.
Sent in by Chelsea Feliciano. Got your own story to tell? Drop us an email at candymagazine @gmail.com! We'd love to hear what you have to say. If you're lucky, you just might get published in this space, too! Please indicate if you want to remain anonymous. We're also looking for artwork and illustrations to use with the stories, so please send some in if you want to be featured!
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Outdoors Danielle Flestado @artdkf | May 1, 2020 "I miss the outside world. The last time I went outside of our house was on my birthday. We just bought coffee across our village and went back home immediately. This painting made me feel that I'm in a field, just appreciating the beauty of God's creation. Can you imagine the green grass and pink flowers?"
When everything around you suddenly turns dark, the first thing we'd prolly do, as humans, is to find and grab anything that is closest and nearest to us. We'll hold onto them for as long as we can, trying to collect ourselves and gather courage to adjust our eyesights to the pitch black environment that's consuming us minute by minute. And then you'd hear nothing. Your sense of hearing would somehow go off after not seeing anything for quite awhile. You'll let loose. Cry. Panic. You'll be exhausted for fighting your way out. Then just when you're about to stop and give up, you're no longer afraid. There's only this deafening silence and pithole of darkness that's gonna eat you up alive. And surprisingly, you'll make a home out of it.
You'll make a home out of the darkness that when a ray of light suddenly hits you, you'll try to avoid it. You'll try to cover your eyes. You'll try to cover your ears from the voices trying to help you get out of it. You'll try to hide because your mind and body will go against your will to come out and live. Because the darkness that used to scare you, now comforts you in a way you thought has helped you survived life. And you'll try to live. Day by day. In the darkness. Not knowing where to go. Not knowing where to start. Not knowing who is with you. You will try to live until the darkness that once surrounds you is now within you. And everyday, it's gonna be a cycle of subtle torture. But let me tell you a secret. The darkness won't make you whole.
You'll be broken. And in those hair-like cracks, the light will stubbornly fight its way through until it warms you up. Until you realize to check the switch and turn it on. Until you allow other people to help you find your way back in the light. Until you realize you're ready to live in light again. There's a light at the end of this long and dreading tunnel. The only question that matters: will you let them in?
I always thought of life, like a bead where each piece makes it worth sewing together with other piece of beads to make a stronger bond and to create a beautiful result. Today, how do we bond well with different people especially this difficult time? As this day challenges us to a new normal, may we continue to bead along positively with our life.