It was never easy for me to end important things through phone. But that's the only possible way to stop it, to not prolong the agony anymore.
We were high school lovers. I was a junior and you were on your senior year. Our love story happened when graduation was fast approaching and we had to savor every day we had before you leave and move on to college.
For the first few months, everything went smooth and perfect. Like I could never ask for more with what I had but that was just the start. When you moved on to college, we had to maintain a long distance relationship and it wasn't easy.
The agony of not seeing you every day killed me. I wanted to see you. Every day. I was longing for you. I was craving for your presence. I was hoping you would change your mind and just stay here with me. But no, you couldn't. Instead, you told me you would wait for me.
We barely saw ee each other. Sometimes once or twice a month, but sometimes we didn't. And it was the hardest part of it. Not the distance, but the quality time we need to give to each other. In that moment, I knew we were losing each other. I knew I was losing you.
We never had the time to talk even through phone or to go on dates. It was difficult. It was heart-wrenching. I knew this moment would come but I still held on to us. I still held on to the idea of us because that was the only thing that kept me going, that kept me alive when I knew our love was dying.
And the moment that I was so afraid to happen had already come... I have to let go of you.
Each time I see you, there will always be butterflies in my stomach. Your presence delights me, your laugh awakens my soul, and your smile, your smile makes my heart melt every time.
That's why I decided to end our relationship through a text message. Because if we did see each other to say our goodbyes, maybe I would've just betrayed myself for not saying mine. You make it so hard for me to leave you even if it's time to go. You make it impossible for me not to cry when my heart's getting ripped at the seams.
I ended our little forever with a goodbye text because it's easier that way. It's bearable that way. And you won't have to see me breaking while letting you go... for the best.
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