You wake up at two in the morning feeling like there is now a missing piece. Like, a chunk of you was stolen away, and you don't even know why. The place which was once happy and healthy is now just an empty, beating, aching spot. They say it's just difficult when you dwell on it, but it feels like you see the person everywhere you go, no matter how hard you try to get rid of thoughts of them.
And then it hits you.
When they were there, you took the little things for granted. Their laugh that made your eyes gleam with genuine joy. The way they smiled when you're around. That nose that wrinkled each time you told them a horrible joke. You felt like they've been there forever and you've forgotten the fact that nothing lasts that long, that forever is not real. And you take them for granted. You ignored the fact that they cared about you so much, they'd drop everything for you just so you'd know you're important. You ignored the sweet gestures they made just to make you feel special, because you were special to them.
Time will come when you'd wake up alone, hoping you told them how you felt, hoping they knew that you loved them, their flaws, their mistakes. That you'll forgive them no matter what they do. That you appreciate them for always being there when you need them. That there will always be a part of you that will be with them for the rest of your life.
You'll wake up one day hoping that you could tell them one last time how much they changed your life... That they'll always be a huge chunk of your existence no matter where they go. That all you want is for them to be happy, which is why you're letting go.
One day, you'll wake up, and it's going to be too late. You'll miss them, but you wouldn't have the courage to say it, because it will hurt you more than it should. It's going to be too late to tell them how much happiness they've given you, and how grateful you are for that. It's going to be too late to tell them that you believe in them, and that they deserve all the love in the world. It's going to be too late to tell them you love them and you always will.
One day, you'll wake up, and it's going to be too late.
One day, you will wake up alone and you'll know... They're gone.
Mary Elizabeth Francisco blogs at www.marshmary.com