We were each other's firsts but will never be each other's lasts. We thought we were unbreakable but that was one sided. It was us against the world and yet I gave up. We were the perfect couple but timing was our perfect enemy. It was a matter of choosing family or you and so I chose what was right.
You kept on pursuing me for months at that but I kept on my ground. I didn't want to keep you from being a second choice when you can become somebody's first. That's why I ignored you when you wanted to get back together. Months passed by quickly and suddenly I never heard from you again. This made me think of my past decision, that I was right because if we were truly in love we can never be separated by heart but look at us now.
READ: He Chose To Let Me Go
When I came home for my semestral break, I heard news from you again. That you already have a girlfriend—wow, that was a shocker. I was hurt, I still had these little feelings for you and was hoping you'd be back but wow, you're something else aren't you? I avoided you and for some reason I was mad at you. I still can't believe you still have this impact that you've always had on me. And then that night, you messaged me, after so many months you finally contacted me.
And of course I got mad, all hell broke loose and then I started telling you that I regretted our relationship, that I didn't love you when in fact I did. I would never regret something that made me happy even if it was just temporary.
I'm sorry for doing this to us. Three years together was enough for me to love you that much and yet I let go. As my horoscope said, I'm a lover not a fighter. I avoided you when you were trying to get me back because I wanted you to move on , and now that you've moved on, I'm upset. I was secretly hoping you'd be waiting for me but that was my mistake. I should've told you but I indirectly did. I kept saying, "If it's meant to be, it will be."
Now it's been 2 years since our break up and I want you to know how happy (well not exactly that happy) to know that you're well. I'm glad you've moved on because even if you were still pursuing me right now, I would still say no. I can't focus on you right now since I love my parents too much to betray them again.
I want to move on too and that's why I'm writing this. I hope I can move on from the regrets that I've had every night. I hope I can move on, move on from you.
You were the man of my dreams and now I have to wait for the man of my reality. Patience is a virtue.
Sent in by Maria Santiago. Got your own story to tell? Drop us an email at candymagazine @gmail.com! We'd love to hear what you have to say. If you're lucky, you just might get published in this space, too! Please indicate if you want to remain anonymous. We're also looking for artwork and illustrations to use with the stories, so please send some in if you want to be featured!
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