We never really said goodbye. We never really said it's over. You just left me without saying a word.
It hurts looking back at the first few nights when I cried myself to sleep then waking up an hour after to text you because I miss you.
That night when I asked you to talk to me and you said you didn't want to, I felt like "Don't I deserve closure? Don't I deserve an explanation?"
Since that night, I would go outside of your house and hoped that maybe, just maybe you would crave for ice cream and go out. Then I'd see a familiar car parked outside of your house and you'd finally talk to me. But it never happened. Eventually I got tired of waiting there. I got tired of waiting for you.
Whatever we had, doesn't it deserve a proper ending and not an open-ended one? One where we hug and apologize to each other because we weren't able to make it work? Or just an apology from you because you used me and fooled me?
What do I really deserve? I think about you all the time. I thought I deserve your love because I gave you mine.
Remember that text I sent you and you never texted back like you never really received it? It contains every single thing I want to tell you. I've said my piece and I'm done.
I don't know when the aching will stop. But I'm sure that when that day comes, none of these will matter anymore. You won't matter. I will no longer look into your eyes and miss the old me or miss us. You chose to back away and now I'm choosing to leave you alone.
And I hope that one day when you already want to say all the words I've been waiting for, I won't be there to listen anymore. I won't even care.
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