Everything was so sudden and it was a surprise how you came into my life. My superficial infatuation turned into deep admiration.
The first time I met you, I never really thought of you as someone I could be with. You're crush material I guess but I didn't see you as someone who could be with me.
As the months passed by and as we grow closer, one thought was always in my mind: "You were the person I was waiting for but I was too late." Why too late? Because you already had someone to cherish life with.
I tried to fight the feeling of falling, but everything I did was in vain. I thought that this would be just like a cold, short and fleeting. But I guess the cold that I was expecting turned into a chronic disease.
You say I love you to me, but I know that those I love yous would never be the same as the I love yous I utter.
I'm beginning to hate myself because I'm falling for a guy who already has someone. Don't get me wrong, I would never ever jeopardize a relationship just for my own selfish reasons, and I'm not even hoping that someday we'd have a chance.
You see me as a friend, and I wouldn't want that to change. You told me once that almost all girl friends you had fell in love with you and wanted more, but you were loyal. I can't blame all those girls, it's just impossible not to fall in love with you. The only thing I could really blame them for is that they ruined a perfectly good friendship just for a chance to be with you. They ruined everything just so they could have more with you. But they will never get that because despite of all the fights you have with her, you two still stick together. I wouldn't dream of ruining this friendship just because of this silly one-sided love affair.
Maybe the reason why I wrote this is just so I could let all this emotions out. I would never confess, and I promise you that I would never do anything that will cause the two of you to fight.
Maybe you see me as your little sister, or maybe you see me as a best friend, a close companion or maybe someone who you can confide in. Whatever you see me as, I'm fine with it as long as you see me in a positive light and as long as we keep this friendship strong and going.
Situations change and maybe someday I'd meet someone who is like you or the total opposite of you. All I'm hoping for is someone who would understand me like you do. I know that everything happens for a reason, and that everything will fall into place. So I'm not rushing anything and I would just patiently wait for the things that would happen.
All I really want is that whatever happens in the future you'd still be my friend, my somehow knight in shining armor.
Melancholic Girl blogs at un-heardnotions.tumblr.com. Got your own story to tell? Drop us an email at candymagazine @gmail.com! We'd love to hear what you have to say. If you're lucky, you just might get published in this space, too! Please indicate if you want to remain anonymous. We're also looking for artwork and illustrations to use with the stories, so please send some in if you want to be featured!