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From Our Readers: To the One Who Left Before I Could Leave First

I wasn't yours and you were never mine, but we were each other's almost.
ART Trixie Ison

Its been over a year since I last heard your voice. More than a year since I saw you smile that smile for me. More than a year since the last time I heard you say my name in that voice that made me sigh blissfully.

I wouldn't remember you the way I used to do. I can say that after more than a year and a half, I can finally close my eyes without your ghost smiling at me in my mind. I can smile without it faltering just because I remember you saying how much you enjoy seeing me wearing my cheeky grin. And I can finally pull my hair up in a ponytail without remembering how you said I look better with my hair pulled up.

READDo You Still Want Him Back?

I still miss you though, sometimes. Maybe once a week, twice a month, a second a day? But that was just a moment down memory lane. How do I forget you when you gave me so much to remember? How can I let someone go when they were never mine to begin with?

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I wasn't yours and you were never mine, but we were each other's almost. So close that I almost thought it was actually going to happen. But we never happened because you left. You told me you loved me but you left before I could even say it back.

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I wanted to talk to you to have real closure to whatever it was that we had. But your picture with her says it all: You're happy now and I should be, too.

READIt Used To Be Us

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For months, I was mad at you. I was so mad that I couldn't even see a picture of you without gripping my sheets while the tears roll down my cheeks along with the memories we made together. But I got tired of being so angry with you that I aimed that anger towards myself.

I was mad at myself because I let my guard down. I should have built another layer of wall but instead I demolished it just for you. I should have known better that you're just another guy that has all the power to break me. I should have listened to my instinct that you're going to leave just like the rest. But I didn't because I believed in you and your words. I should have left before you because that's what I used to do with everyone. But instead I stayed in hopes that you would too, because you told me.

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So why did you leave without letting me leave you first?

READTo the One Who Left Me

You were always the first one to do something ever since we got close. The first one who said hello the day we met;, the first one who smiled the time we were close to each other; the first one who showed some sign of interest towards me that I eventually fell too; the first one to say that three letter words while we both stare at each other's eyes; and the first one to leave without giving me a heads up.

This time, I want to be the first one to say goodbye. Thank you for the memories.

Sent in anonymously. Got your own story to tell? Drop us an email at candymagazine @gmail.com! We'd love to hear what you have to say. If you're lucky, you just might get published in this space, too! Please indicate if you want to remain anonymous. We're also looking for artwork and illustrations to use with the stories, so please send some in if you want to be featured!

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