We were young and in love. In a span of a year, I never thought someone like you could mean so much to me. You became my everything. You became my life.
They keep on telling me to let it go, to let you go. To stop fighting for what we had. But they will never understand how hard letting the person you love go. How hard to live a normal day alone when it could've been a much better normal day with you by my side.
We kept on telling and assuring each other that distance is nothing compared to what we have. Yet 5 months with me in college and 3 months for you, apparently proved that we wouldn't make it.
I know you're mad at me, and I understand that. I'm human, I make mistakes, I'll never be perfect, and I thought you out of all people would know that. I wish saying sorry could take back everything that happened. I wish we didn't have to end it,. I wish we didn't have to go on our own separate ways. But we both know we deserve better, so much better, even though we wanted us to last.
We both know we deserve better, so much better, even though we wanted us to last.
I hope you know that I've always been blaming myself for what happened to us, and never you. I remember those sleepless nights where i would cry and cry, asking myself where did I go wrong, or what did I do wrong to lose someone special like you in my life. Or sometimes I would just cry hoping that crying would ease the pain. And those days where I wouldn't eat anything, those days I would just lock myself in my room and stare at a blank space, those days that I got depressed to the point I almost took my own life.
You were never the guy I wanted in the first place. When you first met me, I was a different person with a different want in a guy. I was hopeless romantic when you met me. Yet, when I gave our relationship a chance, you became everything I wanted.
I have my own share of wrongdoings that I blamed myself every night for. And I hope you know yours, too. And I hope you could forgive not only me, but yourself too, for everything that happened between us and finally let me go.
I want nothing but the best for you. I want you to be happy. And I'm sorry I will never get to tell you goodbye, but only in this letter. There are so many things I wish to say, but some things are better left unsaid, and some questions are not meant to be answered. I hope you're doing fine without me, and I hope you find that girl that deserves you. But do know that you will always have a place in my heart.
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