I searched the meaning of "anchor," and I found this definiton that fits you well: A person or feeling one uses to keep his or herself grounded or in a calm state when things are not well.
You are my anchor. You kept me sane. It's always been you ever since the first time you passed by me, the first time you said hi, the first time we talked to each other the whole day. And I hope those first times won't be the last because I honestly wouldn't give you up since you are the one of the constant good things that is still present in this messed up life of mine.
There were times when I wanted I to make it work, but you didn't. There were times when I could stay up late just to talk to you, but you couldn't. I would make an effort to see you, but you wouldn't. I remember when I was trembling and crying that one night because a serious problem came up, and then I thought you wouldn't even bother listening, but you did. You genuinely listened. And ever since that night I felt that you're the only person who can make me feel better when I need it the most. Or so I thought.
But lately, I know that I can't always rely on you to comfort and understand me. And I actually
feel so stupid for feeling this way about you. I bet all the other girls who liked you felt the same way, too.
I feel so stupid for writing about you, for making an effort to still ask you how you are doing. And for actually thinking that you still care. Because got me thinking if you still do. Well, I hope you still do.
It has been months since we last saw each other, and I do not know when we'll see each other again, or how I would feel when we do.
But when we bump into eachother, I hope we're alright. I never really understood what's on your mind when we talk in person. And we never had the chance to actually talk in a sensible manner since there are always a lot of distraction when we do.
So only time can tell when I can actually thank you properly. Despite these mixed up feelings that I have for you, I still want to thank you. I bet you have no idea that you affected me so much. But nonetheless, all I really want to say is I miss you and thank you. Thank you for being my anchor in the midst of this sea of problems.
Alexis Calub blogs at writtenbyalexis.blogspot.com. Got your own story to tell? Drop us an email at candymagazine @gmail.com! We'd love to hear what you have to say. If you're lucky, you just might get published in this space, too! Please indicate if you want to remain anonymous. We're also looking for artwork and illustrations to use with the stories, so please send some in if you want to be featured!