It's true that love comes, when you least expect it. When it does, it is either you're prepared or not. I hate to admit it to you that when you came, I was unprepared and I didn't have any idea what to do. I told you that I never had a boyfriend before and that you were the first one to show appreciation for me, and with that you agreed to take it slow, and so did I.
In one month of courting me, my feelings became a roller coaster ride. "Good morning" and "good night" texts made me feel that you actually care; "stay safe" and "don't forget to eat" messages made me feel so special. I love it when you keep on reminding me how beautiful I am and telling me that I am worth the wait. Telling your friends and your family about me and how proud you really are of me is overwhelming. Of course when there are good times, there will always be bad ones. There comes a time when I can't understand myself, and I can't understand you either. Our lives and our families are so complicated, that we happen to be the one to fix it. You're always telling me that it's going to be okay, that we are going to be okay. I partly believe you but I partly don't.
My dear, I told you a million times that I am the most complicated woman on earth, yet you didn't give up. But I figured that you are also a complicated man, and I didn't know if I am willing to keep you. If opposites attract, then similar objects repel. No matter how I try, my walls against love are so strong and I just can't feel you. I am sorry if I am having a hard time to appreciate your efforts, I am sorry if I am always making you feel bad, I am sorry if I finally decided to give up on you.
I have learned one special thing: WE ARE NOT YET READY. In order to appreciate love, we must be able to compose ourselves first. Determine what we really want, fix ourselves, and then the right love will come.
I guess I will see you in the right time, and we will figure things out. Always remember, that you will always be my first.
Sent in by Tracy Matawaran. Got your own story to tell? Drop us an email at candymagazine @gmail.com! We'd love to hear what you have to say. If you're lucky, you just might get published in this space, too! Please indicate if you want to remain anonymous. We're also looking for artwork and illustrations to use with the stories, so please send some in if you want to be featured!
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