The first time I saw your profile picture with a new girl too close to be just a friend, I felt a tinge of jealousy. I read the comment section filled with people asking whether that girl was your girlfriend, with you answering their questions with a simple "soon." Clicking the Like button of your photo or your meek "soon" or the fact that you've already replaced me will never be my intention. No, we have never been in a relationship, but you can't deny we came to a point when we were almost there. I was waiting for someone to tag me and ask what happened between us, but no one did. I guess it was not just you who forgot about us, but everyone—except me.
READ: He Chose To Let Me Go
Reminiscing the times when you were still crazy for me was... inexplicable. You never really asked me to be your girl because you already know not just what my reply would be, but also the reason for that. But still, you kept showing me your affection through gestures too sweet to be ignored. You never really asked me to be your girl, but you showed me not a peek, but a full view of what it would be like to be one.
Every time the weather's hot, I remember you telling me not to use a fan because it will only make me feel the heat more. Every time I use my little black backpack, I remembered that time in high school when
you sneaked in a piece of mamon in that bag for me because I was too busy for a practice to have a break for recess. Every time a topic about prom pops up, I remember dancing with you, listening to your
confession of feelings for me. My loved one was not always there for me during that time because he was away, but YOU were. You were the one who made me feel the way that he should. But I was too in love
with the fact that I had you both only for me that I couldn't give up either of you.
But now that you already found your companion as I have a long time ago, I feel happy. Jealousy was what came first because I remembered the time when you told me you'd wait for me forever, then I realized I became beyond selfish with you in the past that I can't be selfish to you now. But the only thing I am not guilty for being self-centered with you is saying that, if the time goes back and I get to experience
what we had all over again? I wouldn't change a thing – because you will always be my favorite what-if.
Sent in by Z. Got your own story to tell? Drop us an email at candymagazine @gmail.com! We'd love to hear what you have to say. If you're lucky, you just might get published in this space, too! Please indicate if you want to remain anonymous. We're also looking for artwork and illustrations to use with the stories, so please send some in if you want to be featured!