From Our Readers: To the Guy Who Almost Had Me
Nearly three years ago, when you came and showed up in my life. I never knew that you'd be that important and significant because you were really broken back then. It was me who picked up the pieces and saved you from heartache. It was me who saw you when you just wanted to cry and scream all night.
You almost had me at hello. You almost had me during our 3AM conversations. You almost had me with your sweet words. You almost had me with your cheesy lines. You almost had me because you showed me how great it is to be loved by me. I almost had you, I know. But it never really happened and I never really did have you.
Then, three years passed and you were okay. And I had to let you go, because finally, you found your happiness again, the new love of your life. The sad thing is, it wasn't me. Everyone thought that it could have been us because we were almost there. But the truth is, I was never enough. Being almost is never enough for you.
And so, life has to go on until someone came and opened my eyes. He made me realize that there's more to life than love, than you, than this, us. With him, I felt like I was number one. I felt happier, but I just couldn't completely take you away from my system; you were part of my DNA—and you knew that. That whenever I feel all the jitters and excitement and happiness, I always think about you at the back of my mind.
I think of you every time I post a happy picture with him on Facebook. I think of you every time we pray together at the Church we used to go. I think of you every time he buys me his favorite Coke float and remember that you're not a "sweets" kind of person. I think of you whenever I see Daniel Padilla on TV and remember how you hated him and how you lifted up Coco Martin. I think of you every time we talk about school and remember how fun it would be when we used to talk about it way back, when you were almost mine. Sad that when I'm with him, I still think of you.
But it's different now. You were just the guy who almost had me. And he's the guy I can always think of whenever I hear that happy song on the radio, when I see fairytale endings in movies that we used to watch. I think of him whenever I remember you almost had me because you showed me how great it is to be loved by me. I have him now and he showed me how great it is to be loved by him. And that makes it different.
Now, I don't want to think about you anymore, because you chose her. You chose her, but she chose to break your heart. When I think of you, you will always be that guy who left me and hurt me and broke me despite the fact that you always knew that it's you who could've had me. So you have no right to come back. I don't want to be your fallback for the second time. Not a chance. I know I didn't really have you, you just made me believe that I almost did.
Follow the author on Twitter @chinikaii and Instagram @chinikaii24. Got your own story to tell? Drop us an email at candymagazine @gmail.com! We'd love to hear what you have to say. If you're lucky, you just might get published in this space, too! Please indicate if you want to remain anonymous.