From Our Readers: To the Guy I Will Never Have
Liking you wasn't always a part of my plan. I shouldn't have done that to myself but I did.
When I first saw you, I thought you were just some random guy trying to make friends. You blend in with the rest of us, just like the regular freshmen we were in high school. It took a while before I got to know you. I knew your name and that was it. Time passed by and we got to know each other more.You always liked to tease me about how I look and that didn't matter to me because I just got used to your silly antics.
When you found out I had a crush on you, you didn't do what most guys would do—that is to keep their distance. You still talked to me like how a normal person would. You walked with me and took the long way even if your house was near the school. You helped me bring my bag. You sang with me. You would make faces with me. You wiped the tears off of my face when you saw me cry for the first time. And you held my hand so tight you never want to let go.
I thought the right time was finally coming, that you'd actually like me back. I thought wrong. I assumed too much and got hurt. We were never a couple. I just really wanted us to become something more but you didn't like me the way I did.
My heart was stubborn. I still had a crush on you during our junior and senior days. I was trying to fight my feelings but my heart won. Graduation came and we knew we had to say goodbye to each other. A lot of things happened between us. Most were happy times but those days are over. We became college students and walked into different paths. You were in another school and so was I. You took Engineering and I went to the field of Communication. We stayed friends but didn't socialize much as often as before.
When I found out after 3 years that you had a girlfriend, it broke my heart. I told myself I wouldn't cry but I couldn't help it. You will never like me and you will never see me the way I see you. I know I sound like giving up but if ever you happen to like me back, I will let time decide. I just told myself that if he deserves better, then so do I. I have a life to live and he has his. As long as he's happy, I'm happy. I moved on and that's enough for me to know. It was hard at first but I got help along the way. I guess something's fall apart so better things can go right. He's not for me and I'm not for him. Someone will always be out there for us. The right time will come and let's not rush love because it's just there. It's everywhere.
READ: Traumatized by Love
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