From Our Readers: To the Guy I've Loved For 18 Months and Counting

I always loved you. You were my first love and I didn't regret anything. But I guess unrequited love has its way of telling me that you will never be mine.

Such a cliche thing: To stay in love with someone who can't love you back. I don't know why but something about you triggered something within me. That first day of class, I was always interested in you, but sadly you were interested in someone else. It's okay. It was just a simple crush. Everyone gets them, especially at my age. But time grew and I found myself hopelessly loving you. I knew I had no chance but still I hoped. I hoped that one day you'll notice me and probably love me just as much as I do. Months passed, another year came, and yet you're still the one my heart wants. I ache for your presence every single day. Seeing you happy makes me happy. It was all I ever wanted to do. Make you happy. Why cant you love me back? Why? Then it hit me. I'm not beautiful. Not an inch of beauty in my face. I've been drowning myself into these thoughts and imaginations that you can love me back but it is impossible. I'm sorry for loving you. I'm sorry for being someone who disturbs you. Sorry but I really, really love you.

I never had a chance to confess to you. You always knew that I loved you. That's why we were always awkward together. But then one day, everything changed. My birthday. You started to chat with me, saying I was always there for you and you loved me. Me, stupid me, believed it. Oh how happy I was. But I shouldn't have trusted you. I was an option. You were bored and wanted someone to love. You ran out of people to love so you came to me. How could I be so stupid? So stupid of loving you and so stupid to believe that you really did truly love me back. It hurt. I'm broken and lost and I don't know what to do. Why did you do this to me? When I'm already doing fine and you don't affect me as much as you did in the past, you would suddenly come and hurt me again. Why?

I know I need to move on. I need to. If ever you're reading this right now I want you to know one thing. I hope you're happy. Take care. I love you, forever and always.

READ MORE:
Traumatized by Love
Meeting a Stranger in Bali
Because I Write About Every Guy I Like 

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