I always believed that you were the right guy for me. The one I dreamed about marrying and having a family with. My future was so well planned for the both of us. I always believed in forever, until something happened. Some things changed.
I never thought three years of being in a relationship would ever be broken. I thought that once you reached the first year together, your relationship would be stronger than ever. That nothing can tear you apart. But I was wrong. As time passed, I felt like I wasn't your priority anymore. You always had time for your friends, but not for me. It hurt me to see you spend time with them while I was here thinking what could have happened if we were spending time together instead.
It hurts to think that you don't exert much effort the way you used to back when we were a new couple. I once told myself that I didn't need to be angry with you for letting me feel that I am no longer loved. But the pain kept on shouting inside. It's all over my head, my body, my soul. And it broke my heart because you didn't do the little things to make me feel special anymore.
I pretend that everything is alright, that I'm happy. But inside, I'm dying in pain and sadness and I've realized that I'm tired. I'm tired of hurting, crying myself to sleep at night, and wondering when will you ever go back to the old you that I used to love.
The truth is, the past few months before we ended our relationship, I could no longer feel the spark when we're together. When you're with me, I don't feel secure anymore unlike before. Yes you're there, but I feel so alone. I can feel my love for you fading away as each day passes by.
It hurts to say goodbye to you because I loved you more than anything else. You were my world for the past years. You were not just my boyfriend, you were also my best friend, my partner-in-crime, my buddy. I gave my time and effort to you and expected something in return—something that would make me feel inspired and alive. But I didn't receive anything. I know you loved me, but I don't think the love you gave was enough. I believe there was something missing.
I learned that love isn't measured by how long the two of you have been together. It's not measured by how many I love yous you say all day, or how you make each other happy when you're together. It's measured by how you make an effort for your love to last and to keep it alive. It's about making your partner feel safe, comfortable, and content.
I just want you to know that I fought for our relationship. I fought my emotions so that I could hold on to what we had. But I can see myself tearing apart as it happens. It is not easy to move on, but it's easier to let go of things that don't make you happy anymore.
READ: I Loved You
So here I am, realizing and admitting that after 3 years of being together, I have fallen out of love with you. I didn't expect that this would happen, but it did.
Written by Mawy Maglapuz. Got your own story to tell? Drop us an email at candymagazine @gmail.com! We'd love to hear what you have to say. If you're lucky, you just might get published in this space, too!
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