From Our Readers: To The Guy I Loved and Lost
I've only known you for a few years, but I think I loved you for all of them. I didn't know it then, but I definitely know it now. There have been other guys and there will be other guys, but I hope you know that you were my constant.
We were best friends before anything, you and I both knew that. But all those meaningful conversations, late night calls, senseless laughter, and endless kulitan turned our friendship into something more.
You fell for me first, and at the time I felt that we were a ridiculous idea. You and I? Together? No way. "Hanggang best friends lang kami," I would tell my barkada and anyone else who asked. Everyone was suspicious of our friendship, and now I see that it was because of what you felt for me.
In all honesty, I never thought I could love you like this. I never thought I would ever miss you like this, because I didn't think I would have to be without you. When I fell for you, I told myself, "No. Wala 'yan. He's just cute and has an amazing voice, happy crush lang 'yan." I thought it was an incredibly stupid cliche, to fall in love with your best friend. I thought, "That only happens in movies, right?"
But as usual, life proved me wrong. Our everyday conversations started to mean more to me, but the comfortable feeling I got whenever I talked to you never faded. You were home for me. I know that you felt the same way about me, because you could always confide in me. When you fought with your sister, you told me. When you felt bad about losing a game, you told me. I was there for you and I promise always will be.
We were never official, but I think it's safe to say that you and I both knew we were more than "just friends." There was something there and my biggest regret might always be ending things the way we did.
To this day, I have no idea what happened to us. The replies started coming slower and fewer, the hangouts rarer, the phone calls shorter. I guess we just drifted apart. Now, we've become strangers who were once home for each other. We started out as best friends, and I wish that was where we ended.
If I could ask you one thing, it would be this: Do you still think about me as much as I think about you? About us and what we could've been? If you see this, please let me know.
If you can't say yes, answer anyway.
Sent in anonymously.