From Our Readers: To the Guy I Called My First Love
I was in love with you. Or maybe I was in love with the thought of loving you. We've been friends for almost six years and through those years, I always had this crush on you. But I never admitted it because I was either afraid that it might ruin our friendship or that you might already be in a relationship.
The day we had a big fight over our friendship was the day you confronted me and told me you have always loved me. I was extremely happy and at the same terrified of what you said. I didn't know what to do with us. Was I suppose to take the information to a whole new level and put us into the category of being more than friends and risk our friendship or simply just continue being friends with you and just forget what you said.
We talked about it and from then on you reassured me that you'll be gentle with me and that you'll guard my heart like your life depended on it. I believed what you said. I trusted your words since you're my bestfriend. You know the things I hate, the things I love, and the things that could hurt me. You were my first love and I thought I couldn't ask for a better guy but I was wrong.
I knew what kind of a guy you are. I knew that you're a player and you liked playing with girls' hearts. You were insecure because you thought no one could love you. I knew how you would work your charms to woo girls. I knew how you could make a fall in love with a girl with you and make her feel special for a while and then forget her like it's nothing. I knew all those things yet I trusted you with my heart, having the faith that you won't do the same to me. I believed that you were a charismatic guy and maybe deep down inside, I wanted to help you change the way you treated girls.
I thought I was different from all the girls you dated and called your girlfriend. I thought you wouldn't play with my heart, but I was wrong. For the past year we dated, I was always in tears and very much in pain. There were times I wanted to give up on us, but you worked your charms and sweet soothing words on me. The last three months of our relationship were the toughest. I learned all about you courting your ex-girlfriend while you were still with me and how you were even courting another different girl. That was the last straw; I gave up on you. I gave up on us. I cried a lot during the times I learned that you were cheating, but as time passed, I saw that you never treated me as a precious jewel. You never treated me like a princess and all you ever brought me was pain.
The day I gave up was the day I was truly happy. I felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. It seems like I have moved on fast since two months after our breakup, I found a new guy. But I realized that I was never happy in your arms and I was never treated right. Thanks for showing me the two kinds of guys in this world. Thank you that even though our friendship will never be the same, you showed me a glimpse of what love is.
Written by Red Chinny.