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From Our Readers: To the Guy I Called My First Love

A.K.A my best friend.
ART Trixie Ison

I was in love with you. Or maybe I was in love with the thought of loving you. We've been friends for almost six years and through those years, I always had this crush on you. But I never admitted it because I was either afraid that it might ruin our friendship or that you might already be in a relationship.

The day we had a big fight over our friendship was the day you confronted me and told me you have always loved me. I was extremely happy and at the same terrified of what you said. I didn't know what to do with us. Was I suppose to take the information to a whole new level and put us into the category of being more than friends and risk our friendship or simply just continue being friends with you and just forget what you said.

We talked about it and from then on you reassured me that you'll be gentle with me and that you'll guard my heart like your life depended on it. I believed what you said. I trusted your words since you're my bestfriend. You know the things I hate, the things I love, and the things that could hurt me. You were my first love and I thought I couldn't ask for a better guy but I was wrong.

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I knew what kind of a guy you are. I knew that you're a player and you liked playing with girls' hearts. You were insecure because you thought no one could love you. I knew how you would work your charms to woo girls. I knew how you could make a fall in love with a girl with you and make her feel special for a while and then forget her like it's nothing. I knew all those things yet I trusted you with my heart, having the faith that you won't do the same to me.  I believed that you were a charismatic guy and maybe deep down inside, I wanted to help you change the way you treated girls.

I thought I was different from all the girls you dated and called your girlfriend. I thought you wouldn't play with my heart, but I was wrong. For the past year we dated, I was always in tears and very much in pain. There were times I wanted to give up on us, but you worked your charms and sweet soothing words on me. The last three months of our relationship were the toughest. I learned all about you courting your ex-girlfriend while you were still with me and how you were even courting another different girl. That was the last straw; I gave up on you. I gave up on us. I cried a lot during the times I learned that you were cheating, but as time passed, I saw that you never treated me as a precious jewel. You never treated me like a princess and all you ever brought me was pain.

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The day I gave up was the day I was truly happy. I felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. It seems like I have moved on fast since two months after our breakup, I found a new guy. But I realized that I was never happy in your arms and I was never treated right. Thanks for showing me the two kinds of guys in this world. Thank you that even though our friendship will never be the same, you showed me a glimpse of what love is.

Written by Red Chinny.

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A Simple Learner Who's a Great Pretender

Maybe I'm just a learner, not a weirdo. A learner that knows how to listen and pretend. A simple learner who's a great pretender. Pretending to be slightly dumb enough not to be judged and criticized by those who do not appreciate my existence. We surround ourselves with people who's levels are either beyond or below our intellectual behavior, because as for reality, people may use you either for their success or your downfall. Since then, people tend to judge someone who has an intellect with things they shouldn't be. Making them a criticizer, and most of all, calling them weird.

Honestly, I'm one of this "weirdo" who actually loves to learn things, and for the record, I'm bullied and stressed out for making myself not to learn more and go with the flow to dumbness I had. Have you ever feel being assigned to some task where you know every process to make it easier and faster to finish but turns out to hesitate to voice out because some of your mates put themselves in charge. There are times where I know what to do, what to say, or how to react, but kept myself silent and pretend not to know anything that may help us. Maybe it's a good thing to just go with their ideas and learn from their perspectives, but sometimes you can't control it and says something, and once again called to be a weirdo and let you finish the work by yourself.

It's annoying that you only know one process yet they gave you the whole work and let you finish it by yourself because they insist that "MAGALING KA DIBA?". It's not your fault being an intellectual person, knowing such things that may help you to pursue your dreams, and have the basic knowledge about something. You don't need to know everything, just the basics. And as for those people who do not appreciate your existence, let them be and continue what's the best for you. In some cases, you'll be annoyed by this but most of the time you'll be thankful for it. Not for now but maybe later. Just be yourself either a weirdo, a great pretender, or a simple learner, and always remember to lower your voice and behavior because no one loves that.

Just be a great pretender not to hear any runts and be a good learner that appreciates everything. It's out of nowhere thoughts of mine, but simply I leave you this my favorite life quotation; "Don't introduce yourself, Let your success introduce you"

Jayson Miranda 2 days ago
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