From Our Readers: To the Girl Who Lost Herself For A Moment
Everything was fine before it all turned into a scattered mess. You first allowed yourself to believe that what you had will go far beyond infinity. You painted a picture of you being together for a lifetime. You crafted beautiful and never-ending promises for each other. You laid down your differences and hoped you could accept them as time passed by. You treated each other as the utmost priority.
You witnessed each other's strengths and weaknesses. All those things you shared, good or bad, made you build a stronger foundation of your relationship. Until such time, all of them fell down and collapsed into nothingness. The journey towards infinity came to a sudden halt. The lifetime picture became blurry and unclear. The promises you once created were replaced with irreversible regrets.
The laughter you once cherished were superseded by an unbearable pain and loneliness. You tried saving what you had, but how would it be possible if one of you had decided to finally give up and walk away? You were the only one left, and you still continued to hold on to that tiny hope which connected you to the only person you love.
Your world started to revolve around him, and you didn't want to simply set aside nor bury the memories you had when you were together. You tried to make yourself even stronger, hoping he would wake up and come back to his senses till he'd realize that you're the only one that matters to him. Until days, weeks, and several months had elapsed, still he never showed up in front of your door.
You sounded so desperate that all you did was to wait for him to come back. You knew that it would no longer be possible. You drowned yourself into so much desperation as if there could be no way for you stand up and live the kind of life you once had. When he walked away, it blasted all your hopes.
You asked yourself to just stop, to just free yourself from sadness, to just allow time to heal the wounds carved in your heart, to just move on and forget him, but you knew it's never easy and will never be easy. You even regret the time you came to know him, but it just made you feel even worse.
You were stuck in the middle of the night, the memories still came to you like a bolt of lightning, with your tears as rains, with your dying heartbeat as the sound of thunder. You lost yourself, and he will never be there to find you and rescue you.
You lost yourself, and he will never be there to find you and rescue you.
You wished to recover yourself from that stormy weather of your past. You wished to wake up to a beautiful morning which will give yourself another hope. And then, you finally did. You reminded yourself that life does not automatically stop for anybody else. You started putting things to the way they used to be although they will never be the same again. But, you knew you had to do it, not for the sake of anyone else, but for yourself. Time would let you see yourself smiling and laughing again because you no longer feel the ache of pain that squeezed your heart open. And one day, you will eventually bring back the older "you" that has been lost for a moment. It may not be too soon, but someday you will.
Sent in by Ethel Gubalane. Got your own story to tell? Submit your feels! We'd love to hear what you have to say. If you're lucky, you just might get published in this space, too! Please indicate if you want to remain anonymous. We're also looking for artwork and illustrations to use with the stories, so please send some in if you want to be featured! Please send original, unpublished work only.