From Our Readers: To the Girl I Fell In Love With
It was sophomore year. We were best friends, but one day I just knew and felt that this friendship would turn into something else.
For starters, you're a girl, I'm a girl, and we study in a Catholic school.
I'm not attracted to you because of your looks. I'm attracted to you because you've got a beautiful soul. Your auntie teases us because most of the time I visit you through the weekend and no one except me knows your house. It just happened in a blink of an eye. I was in love with you then.
I'm not very sure of what I feel. I'm not bisexual I tell myself, but you're the only living soul who made me feel this way. I was attracted to boys, yes, but your presence is different. You make me feel weak in times I feel strong. You make me fall in love with you over and over again.
It took me months to deal with my feelings. I thought we're just best friends, but I've always felt something more.
One year passed and I was glad we were still classmates in junior high. "This friendship will turn into something else," I told my barkada. Being friends with you isn't enough. I want to kiss you, hold you, and be with you. But the feeling I once thought was perfect turned sour.
One day, we were drinking at our friend's house. I asked you then, "If I were to court this girl, do you think she'd give me a chance?'' You said no.
I cried and cried and cried, and you were there to witness it all. After all this time, I thought there was a chance for me, but I was wrong. You didn't know I was in love with you then, that's why you asked, ''who is the lucky girl?'' You thought I was just randomly asking our circle of friends but I wasn't. The hardest part of that night was telling you and pretending that I was just asking everyone if I'm worth giving a shot because there's a girl I like, and I'd really like to ask her out.
I was about to go home, then one of our friends asked me who the girl I'm talking about is. I said no one, teary-eyed. Our friend told me, 'This is the first time I've ever seen you cry. Can you please tell me what is wrong?" Then I looked at you, teary-eyed as well, and then you hugged me. That was the moment I held back the most. It was a feeling only you can give me. No one except you touched my soul that way.
It was the best love of my life—until now I still mourn for my loss. You're on a different path. We might not talk for so long, but we both know there's a bond between us that only you and I will understand. I finally understand how pain really demands to be felt.
Just so you know, I told her... and I got my answers.
Sent in anonymously.