I remember your friends telling me that you like me but never I heard the words from you. I didn't believe them because I was naive and innocent enough to see through your actions. I thought it was just a friendly act from you.
I'm not one to believe easily when a guy tells me that he likes me. I mean, what's to like about me? I'm not pretty. I'm weird. I'm moody. I don't talk much. I'm boring. And sometimes you'll see me just spacing out. Your friends will always tell me how much you like me, which I always doubted. I'm sorry. I'm just like this. I'm pessimistic and I keep on making myself believe that it's impossible for a guy to like me in a romantic way.
READ: Do You Believe In Signs?
We became closer and that made me feel more confused, more terrified. I actually didn't want to entertain your feelings. Well, until now I'm still doubting myself. They are right though. I will never know how this will end if I won't give it a chance. But are you worth it? Will you be worth the risk?
Believe me when I say I want to try. I want to give it a go and see if you can make me happy. But then, the pessimistic side of me will contradict this.
There are a lot of reasons why I should not pursue this. First, I don't feel anything special towards you. It might change as time goes by. Second, you're way younger than me. Maybe three years younger? I don't even know your age! As early as now, I want to say sorry. I'm apologizing now because I don't think I will be able to introduce you to those special to me. Will you be fine as my little secret? Will you be able to wait until I am ready to show you off to the world? I'm sorry. Third, I don't trust myself to be in a relationship. I don't think I'm girlfriend material at all. I grew up trying to be independent and there will be times that I will push you away. There will be times that I won't give you the rights of a boyfriend. I might not want you to pick me up or to accompany me home. I might not text you every time and maybe, there will be days that you just won't see me. And the list goes on but I won't say it anymore because it will just give me more reasons not to continue whatever this is between us.
READ: Thoughts at 3AM
I'm not actually worried about me. Well, maybe a little but I don't really care if I get hurt. I'm worried about you. Will you be able to keep up? Will you stay even if I am not the kind of girl you think I am? Will you stay even if I hurt you, intentional or not?
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