From Our Readers: To the Boy I Made Up In My Head
You were a stranger to me once.
I thought I knew you, but it turns out that I only knew you through my imagination, and the bits and pieces I fabricated in my brain. The bad thing about all of this is that I got used to that made-up image of yours that it almost impaired me when I realized that it wasn't enough.
It will never be enough.
I got used on depending to it so much, so much that when you were gone, I felt like I was almost nothing. Like I fell down a rabbit hole, and I didn't know what to do. The nothingness was eating me up, almost consuming my thoughts and leading me to nowhere.
It's crazy how all of this happened just because I made you up in my mind. You were never really mine to begin with. You just stood there, a good, few meters away from me and after looking at you for a very long time, I managed to drag you down this rabbit hole of mine with you being totally unaware.
And now that you are miles away where I can't see you, I am nothing. And it saddens me to realize what a fool I've become when I got so upset you were gone when I never really had the right or even the permission to be. I didn't lose you.
I will never lose you for I didn't even have you in the first place. You were there, but never within my grasp, never within my touch. I just fabricated you in my mind.
You were a stranger to me once, and you will be a stranger to me forever.
Krizia Palisoc blogs at missykrizzy.wordpress.com. Got your own story to tell? Drop us an email at candymagazine @gmail.com! We'd love to hear what you have to say. If you're lucky, you just might get published in this space, too!