From Our Readers: Thoughts at 3AM
They say that falling in love for first time is the sweetest yet it's the most painful of all. I surely didn't believe that before not until I experienced it on my own. My first love was not the typical love for it was an unrequited love. I know you may think that I'm crazy but I also think that, too.
People say that when you like someone for three to four months it means that you already love them and I agree. Why? Simply because I had liked you for more than a year before I could even admit it to myself that I love you already. It took me almost three years to have the courage to tell you how I feel but I still didn't reveal my identity. It took me a year after to finally admit it was me who has loved you since sophomore year of high school and another year had passed before I knew what you felt towards my confession.
Now, it has been almost seven years and I still love you. I'm not quite sure if it's still the same degree of love like before but I knew that l love you. I tried to forget about you because I knew that you would never return my love. But no matter how much I try, I always end up falling in love with you over and over again. Maybe it's because we often text each other. Our often communication brings hope to me that maybe one day, you'll able to realize that you also love me.
Sometimes, I ask myself if the timing of my confession was right. Maybe I confessed too late that I should have told you before I graduated high school and maybe we could still have a shot. Or was my confession too soon? Either way, it doesn't matter anymore. You already told my friend that you only see me as your friend. That's the only thing you can offer me—friendship. I never knew you considered me as a friend in the first place. You never told me even we constantly text each other. I find it so ironic you know. Friends? How did we become friends? Does texting often make us friends? I don't think so.
Please tell me straight to the point how you feel towards me. It would be easier for me to move on if it'll come from you. If you tell me that you'll never look at me more than just a friend or textmate when you're bored, please tell me already. I've been waiting for you for quite some time now. I could've been in another relationship if I knew I was waiting for nothing.
I deserve to be loved by someone. If it is not you, I would gladly accept it when the time comes. I know that it'll never be easy to move on from you because you'll always be in my heart. You've already occupied a space in it from all the years that I've loved you secretly. But one thing's for sure, I will always be happy for you even if I'm not the one by your side.
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