What might've been or what should have been? These words have been running through my mind for the past two years. What would’ve happened to us if you didn't leave me hanging? What would we be today? How different would our lives be?
In all honesty, it was hard writing this. Maybe because to me, you're still in my life and I'm still holding on to the remaining pieces of you inside me. Meanwhile in your life, I have clearly disappeared from yours.
We've been friends for 3 years and sometimes at night I still think about you and what could've happened between us. I've been wanting to talk to you for the longest time since there are still unanswered questions on my mind. I know it's been 2 years and you're probably over it by now since that was such a long time ago and you probably have a new set of people in your life.
We were really good friends before, you know that. You used to open up to me about so much things and I did, too. I got to know the real you. I got to see different sides of you that you were scared enough to show people. I saw what was behind that smile of yours at the same time I saw your deepest and soft side. We would talk about our fears, our dreams, our weird fetishes. We talked about everything. I guess those were one of the ways I got to know you fully as a person. You were sweet, open, self-less and understanding. We've gotten really close and I started to fall for you. I was afraid since I knew we were just good friends and for some reason I felt like it was wrong to like you. Eventually, as the summer of that year ended, you told me you liked me. At first I was speechless and I couldn't believe what was happening. Me and you? What? Towards the end of our conversation, I told you I liked you too and everything went on from there.
READ: Maybe I Cared Too Much
Months passed and things started to feel dull. Replies were slower, conversations were short-timed and they didn't make sense. We started to drift, we had new groups of friends and everything just started to part from there. I tried to fix things between us but you wouldn't budge. You wouldn't talk to me. You stopped replying. I tried and tried until I eventually gave up. It was the first and hardest heartbreak I've ever been through. You were my best friend and at the same time the person I loved. And you left me hanging with no explanation, you left me with nothing. You left me with so much possible reasons on why you left and unanswered questions that I will never seem to get the answers to.
But after all of this, I want to say thank you. Thank you for making me a stronger person, thank you for always being there for me and thank you for making me feel loved and important during that short period of time.
I miss you, yes I still do. I miss having you in my life. Sometimes I wish that all of these would come back but then again these experiences we've had with each other have turned into memories. As much as it hurts to say, we've got to face the facts that it's true. They're just plain old memories that will stick with us for the rest of our lives. Always know that I'll be here for you even if you don't know it. And maybe someday, we could cross paths once again and have a fresh start.
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