From Our Readers: This is for Everyone Who Has Tried to Let Go
I should have done this a long time ago. I've been thinking too hard lately if I'll do this or not. And it took me years to finally say please let me go.
Don't get me wrong, I love you so much. I have loved you with all my heart and soul since the day I met you. But today, I've decided to unlove you. I'm not really sure how but this is what I can do. When I see you down the road, I won't call out your name. When I see familiar places we've been, I'll turn around because I don't want to remember any memory of you. When I get stuck waiting for the train, I will not call you. If I have personal dilemmas, no, I will not message you in Facebook and beg for you to talk to me. When I see something funny or nice, I will not send the links in your Viber because I want to stop relating things to you. I'll stop listening to our music. I'll stop looking at your posts and Instagram photos because it hurts to see you happy with someone else. I'll stop. I can't pretend that I'm okay anymore, that we're okay because we're not, I'm not.
Yes, I tried to be friends with you. It's because I don't want to lose you. But then I realized I've already lost you that summer of 2013 when things between us fell apart. So what else is there to lose?
You told me to wait. I want you to know that I waited and will be waiting even after you read this letter, I know I'll still be thinking of you every day. I know I'll miss you so much that I'll hold my phone and dial your number. But then, I know I shouldn't, so I will delete your number even if I've memorize it by heart. I know I'll be crying every now and then because I decided to disconnect and I should not regret closing my doors to you. I chose not to talk to you anymore because I want to love myself even more. Now, tell me. How can I love myself if I keep on dreaming I could hold your hands when you're holding somebody else? When I want you in my arms but you're already sleeping contentedly in someone else's embrace? When I long for you to kiss me passionately but you're already kissing her lips? When I wish to tell you all my heart's hopes but I know that they no longer interest you. I just can't go on dreaming when reality is happening right in front of my very eyes. Believe me when I tell you I want to be with you, I really do. But we are a hopeless case. You know that.
Let me remind you that I'm not mad. We had two wonderful years together back then and I deeply treasure our once upon a time. Although our happily ever after never existed, I have accepted and forgiven you as much as I've forgiven myself. I'll miss your family, too, you know. They are great people. If they ask you how I am, tell them I'm okay and I miss them. One reason why it's hard to let go is your family. I am also thinking of them. They know how tight our friendship is even after our romantic relationship ended. This is really hard. Letting go of you means letting go of your good family as well. I'll miss playing with your little sister. I'll miss the drama with your twin. I'll miss the smart talks with your tito and tita. I'll miss the humor of your dad and the support of your mom. But most of all, I'll miss you.
I can't stay friends with you. I tried. I hate falling over and over and over for you. One moment I know I'm fine, and then the next thing I see you or hear your voice, I'm not. You see, that's the cycle! We won't talk for weeks and here I thought I'm over but then your name appeared in my screen! I keep coming back to square one. I can't lie to myself anymore. I'm too depressed. I'm such a mess. I want to be your priority, not your second option. I want to move on. You are not the right person for me, but you're the best kind of mistake that happened to my life.
I was thinking that one day you'll appear in front of me and say. "I'm sorry if I kept you waiting. I still love you." It's like a film that plays in my head for over a gazillion times now. But our story is not some kind of Nicholas Sparks' book or a film like One More Chance. Our love story has ended a long time ago and I should have ended my feelings a long time ago, too. You had your relationships after me and I should have known that I'm just only a part of your past and never will be your present and most impossible, your future.
The thing here is, my love is worth a thousand hurts. You said, "I know you too well." Yes, you know what's running in my mind but you never know what's inside my heart. Why did you never think to ask? You were always sure of yourself. You said, "We've matured." You thought being mature means not getting hurt and forgetting the past. I simply can't do that. But giving up, I think, is the mature thing to do.
I'll let go because I can't hurt myself any longer. I pray you understand. Even if I detach, do know that I still care for you. But honey, I'll let go because we can never ever be together. Not in this lifetime.
Please don't respond after you read this. I don't want to know if you'll prevent me from going or don't care at all if I walk away. I'd rather mull over than listen to your words. Please don't come back even if I tell you to don't leave me. Please don't leave me.
Sent in by Louise Silvestre. Got your own story to tell? Drop us an email at candymagazine @gmail.com! We'd love to hear what you have to say. If you're lucky, you just might get published in this space, too! Please indicate if you want to remain anonymous. We're also looking for artwork and illustrations to use with the stories, so please send some in if you want to be featured!
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LIFE ADVICE YOU NEED TO HEAR WHILE YOURE STILL YOUNG
This blog is dedicated to all teens out there struggling in determining what they really want in their life or if you simply want a glow up. And since were still facing a pandemic, I think this is also a season where everyone is re-thinking about their lives. So, I hope these advices might help you.
Tip #1. TAKE RISK - since most of you are still young, I advice you to take your biggest risk. Whether it may be taking the course you want, a skill you want to acquire or just simply taking the risk to throw away your emotional baggage from your childhood. While you're still young, you have very little to lose. You dont have that much commitments and responsibilities. Because the older you get, the more responsibilities and obligations came. So when they are still not piling up, take the risk! As for me, the biggest risk I took when I was still a teenager is to CUT OFF TOXIC FAMILY TIES.
I may sound rude here but, yeah. I decided to throw away my emotional baggage from my traumatic childhood and cut off some of my family ties and it is completely okay! You dont have to be bothered by whatever they will say. Because at your age, you are already investing on your growth as a person. If you really want to grow, THERE IS NO PERFECT TIME FOR YOU TO TAKE RISK BUT NOW. Because in taking risk you are actually giving yourself a reward of getting something amazing or beyond what you expect you can have. As they say, the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. Keep in mind that the bigger the risk, the bigger possibility of FAILURE. But that is completely OKAY. Because just like what I said earlier, you are still young. You dont have so much to lose so, dont be afraid to take the risk and then fail. But after failing, learn from it and the more courage you have to take risk the greater the learning, reward or happiness. Ito na nga, how to take risk nga ba? And what are the risk that would actually help me to grow? #
2: VOICE LESSON - dont get me wrong, hindi ito vocalization para sa pagkanta. What I mean is, learn to listen to that VOICE INSIDE YOU. Listen to your heart, to your intuition and to your visions because it will be your GUIDE. Because I realize that as you go along your journey of your life and if you really want to be YOURSELF and be successful in achieving your goals, the only GUIDE that you should follow is your OWN VOICE.
It is okay to take and consider other people's advices but at the end of the day,you should never forget to listen to your own voice. Because that voice is what tells you what you truly want. How would you know that if it is your 'own' voice? Your own voice always comes from your HEART. The voice where YOU and GOD'S voice are one. Because I firmly believe that God knows your heart and that is where he reside. I like journaling because whenever I journal my thought every night and every morning, I feel a dual voice inside my head. Like, it contradicts what the other voice is telling. For example: If we have dreams or goals that puts us so much weight and pressure to the point that it makes you exhausted, STOP. Because it might be a dream or goal of someone else. I believe that your own dreams and goals may be frustrating most of the time, but that frustration has fueling feeling that will always tell you that 'This is the hard way to better so keep going'. Frustration in your own dreams will not make you feel exhausted because achieving a dream itself is a fulfilling feeling.
#3. TAKE ACTION - if you really want something to happen, take action. Dont just sit there and wait things to come your way. Make action or decisions that will take you to where you want to go in your life. Just like what I said in one of my novels that I am writing in wattpad, "There is no such thing as destiny or fate. Because YOU make your OWN life choices." For example, I cannot expect to be a published author if I dont write any novels right? The bottomline here is, if you are not moving forward you are actually moving backward. And it is a sad thing. Life is full of situations where you will be put in the line whether you take courage or just stay where you are. Because GROWING needs consistency in moving forward. So if you dont have to enough courage to take action, your life will always stay the same or worse you will continuously shrink down.
#4. EXPAND YOUR HORIZONS - this means stretching your comfort zone. I watched an anime entitled "Black Clover" there is a captain there where he always tell his subordinates to surpass their limits right, here right now. Going out of our comfort zones are surely scary and uncomfortable. But you have to accept the fact that you cannot stay on the coast forever. You have to change, because the only thing that is constant in this world is change right? Go out of your comfort zones because LIMITS are just in the MIND. There are disabled people who are successful in their own careers. Because the lesson here is, if you hold back there will be no growth. Because GROWTH blooms in DISCOMFORT.
Last, #5. INVEST IN YOURSELF - especially now that you are still young, you should focus on investing on yourself more. Time is your bestfriend at this point of your life. You have so much time to discover things about yourself. I never regret buying and reading books that I never knew will help me later on in dealing life's challenges. You can use that time to read books, gain wisdom, or pick a new skill, improve your talent and learn from your experiences. Keep learning outside your home or your school. Because the real battlefield is OUTSIDE. What you learn in school will only help you in your career but your wisdom and experiences will help you in life or as a person. People who doesnt embrace growth will never succeed in their life. (This is a reflection blog from my 21st birthday last week. I hope you can feature this on your page and I hope it can help others as well. )
Hello! In need to boost these posts and tweets for our jeepney drivers ???? Kindly share + retweet and re-story so a lot of people can see. Thank you so much! Here are the links: FB: http://bit.ly/jeepadalafb Twitter: https://twitter.com/jemimahladezaaa/status/1277938147666456577?s=21'>https://twitter.com/jemimahladezaaa/status/1277938147666456577?s=21 https://twitter.com/jemimahladezaaa/status/1277938147666456577
Hello candy-peeps! I just wanted to share what i've been doing this long quarantine period. My father is from Pangasinan and so I grew up going there every year (usually during special occasions like Christmas, New Year, All Saints Day, etc). I've always loved their specialties yet I only get to taste it once or twice.
My father runs a GRAB business in which we have several drivers for it. Yet during this pandemic, our business experienced a big loss and our drivers feared that they won't get to earn enough for their families who are also suffering during these troubling times.
By starting this frozen food business, we were able to earn and also give our drivers a source of income. They accompany my father in going to Pangasinan every week to be able to restock and they also re-sell our products. Its a win-win situation for both of us. I do hope that we'd overcome the problems that our country as a whole and every struggling individual is facing soon and that we'd come out of this better than we were before. #SupportLocal #PilipinasMuna
Hi everyone! I just want to share my first collaboration with my father. I converted two of my digital arts, Oneness and We Got Each Other's Back, into a vase and a bookend. I designed it and he made it into a reality. The Oneness Metal Vase is perfect for dried flowers and or artificial flowers. The We Got Each Other's Back Bookend is made from solid metal in which the cubes can be arranged to the user's liking. Both metal sculptures work as an accent piece that can liven up one's space. In case you guys are interested, you can reach me through Facebook/Instagram: @artdkf.ph
Imagine you are holding a photograph. There, there you are. A 5-year-old you is being carried by her momma and papa while holding your rag dolls. That innocent, charming little girl is looking at you and said, "Where are you now?"
Life is filled with several U-turns and unexpected twists of events and during these times in which silver spoons are nowhere to be found: Our families ensure we still get and experience the best as we survive this pandemic. Here's my song, I wrote back 2 years ago entitled: "Won't Let You Cry" and take time to honor and appreciate our parents as they are the biggest front liners in our lives throughout the years.
If you're still single now, there are probably a a lot of questions running in your head. But being on your own for a long time helps you discover more about yourself. It's more than just freedom or independence. It's facing the world with so much courage. It's trying to make the most of your life without having to depend on someone. It's being happy on your own and loving yourself with all that you are.
We've been chasing love only to realize that it's not gonna work out that way. The right time will come that you will be blessed with the one you deserve. The one who also prayed to be with you. The one who will make you believe in love again. Let life surprise you. Hang in there.