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From Our Readers: This Is Everything I Didn't Say
I know it's probably too late to say these things.
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To the weirdest person I've met, to the man who's capable of understanding what I feel without having to say a single word, to the one who lifts me up when life get tough, to my best friend who cared for me from the very start.

I know it's probably too late to say these things. I know you're perfectly fine living without me, but I just want to ease the burden I feel inside. I want to prove that I've already learned from my mistakes. It takes a lot of bravery for me to write this. I'm scared of what will happen next. Like what I said, I just want to release and say everything before I bid my final farewell.

For all those times that you did those things you wouldn't usually do just to make me happy; for all those phone calls and messages you sent just to catch-up whenever we don't see each other, it means a lot to me. Whenever you're not at home and I tend to be indignant, I'm sorry if I was selfish back then. I'm sorry if I made you feel like your efforts were trashed, and if I focused on your mistakes. You may think that I didn't appreciate everything you've done, but I just want to tell you that I will be forever grateful for what we had way back when we were together, when everything was fine.

Daily flashbacks make me realize what I wasted. I want what's best for you even if it means not having you anymore. What we had is something I know, I won't find in anyone else. To be honest, I still can't imagine how my life would be without you.  However life is not always about what makes us happy. You can't choose who you'll end up with. We have to face the fact that we can't live without challenges and we need pain sometimes in order to grow. It's not always about being loved and turning your dreams into reality with each other. Sometimes to know its worth, you have to be without it for a while.

I've been blessed for having you—someone who I could be silly with and just be myself. Thank you for letting me in and for showing me what being the luckiest and having the best meant. I know these words won't bring you back, I know these lines won't undo all the pain. Before I wave goodbye, I just want to thank you for being understanding and for always being there for me. For all those times you said "You got me, I got you." Every time I was upset, for all those times you supported me in every decision that I made. Lastly, or all those unforgettable moments encrypted in my brain. This won't make you stay, but maybe this will answer the questions I left hanging and unanswered.

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From the moment you left, I lost my best friend, and my favorite man. We lost our plans, our dreams, and a lot of things we wished to do but life won't stop this way. I hope someday I'll be brave enough to tell you how I feel. It's just so hard to let go and start again, but I have to. I know you're happy with your life right now. I can't take back all of the moments we had before just to make things right. I hope this will help me to end this chapter of my life and prepare for the new one. I hate to say goodbye, but like what you've said it is the easiest yet the most painful way to end our problem.

Goodbyes make you think. They make you realize what you had, what you've lost, and what you've taken for granted, but somehow you have to let go and wait if it will go full circle and come back around. For now, here's my sorry, thank you and goodbye.

Written by Angelica Gonzales, 16 years old,  BA Creative Writing Student.

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