I am completely over you. Or maybe I'm not. Not yet. But I'm on my way there. I have told myself this multiple times before, and right now, I feel like I'm really going to do this. I'm tired of being your pansamantala, your little secret, your last resort. This won't be easy, but it's for the best.
I would have done so much for you. I loved you. I was so blinded by your words and paasa gestures that I overlooked all your lies and intentions. I thought I'd finally be the one for you. I guess I was, just not in the way that I wanted and definitely not how it should be.
You kept coming in and out of my life. That's what made moving on so difficult. Please don't come into my life ever again and then leave so suddenly. Stay with me, or stay gone. The latter seems to be the only thing possible now.
Closure was the last important thing I needed from you. You failed to give me that, and I'm trying to understand you and this whole situation. But thank you, anyway. For the fleeting happiness, for keeping my secrets, and for being a lesson.
Please don't do to any other girl what you did to me. More so, don't lie to your girl. You weren't cheating, but you almost did. And I almost let you. I should've told you it was wrong. I tried but not hard enough to push you away. My feelings got the better of me, and I'm so sorry I hurt her by being involved with you. She deserves someone who actually looks at her and only her. Be that person. Don't take for granted such beautiful thing you have with her right now.
I've always blamed timing and destiny for keeping us away from each other. It's about time that I realize that it's all because you never really loved me, and I don't think you ever will.
Kez Corvera is 17. Got your own story to tell? Drop us an email at candymagazine @gmail.com! We'd love to hear what you have to say. If you're lucky, you just might get published in this space, too! Please indicate if you want to remain anonymous. We're also looking for artwork and illustrations to use with the stories, so please send some in if you want to be featured!
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