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From Our Readers: The Things Only You Taught Me

You never knew but slowly, you pulled me out of the shadows and brought me into the light.

Hello there, it's me.

You never knew, but you lifted me from the dark place I used to find comfort in. You never knew but slowly, you pulled me out of the shadows and brought me into the light. You taught me how to open my eyes to the sun without letting it blind me. Your hand pulled mine into the graveyard of my hopes and dreams, plowing seeds into its barren plains. And there, you grew sunflowers.

READ: To the Guy I Want To Forget But Can't

You couldn't have been Superman. He wore a cape; you wore scarves. You couldn't have been an angel. They were bathed in white light; you were clothed in black. I found comfort and peace in your company. I found solitude and learned how to smile again through the songs we shared. Maybe that's why the music still haunts me.

When I met you, I hated your guts. I learned to love your candor. I didn't expect you to open up to me the way you did. When I fell in love with you, I figured you couldn't be my Knight in Shining Armor. I realized you would have wanted me to be a better version of myself. You were the puppeteer and it was my strings you found. You pulled them up, to help me stand. You tugged them forward, to teach me how to walk again.

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READ: Does Love Happen by Fate or By Choice?

What we had was different, special. So I'd like to thank you for the good times—for the promise of looking for trouble together. For the shoulder you lent me to cry on, the arm you held out for me to hold. I'd also want to thank you for the hurt—when you eventually left and scooped her up in your arms when I was at the weakest point of my life. I guess, I always knew it still wasn't enough. There was never an "us" anyway (even though I wish for it every night).

You taught me how to laugh when I was supposed to break down in a corner and burst in tears. You taught me how to stand tall and try to forget the existence of someone I once loved. You taught me forgiveness. You taught me how to set a painting aside and pull out a new canvas. You taught me that what we had was stronger than what I had hoped. You taught me that even though I didn't want you to, you still care. You taught me that pizza can brighten up even the dullest hospital room. You taught me acceptance. To accept that she would be there waiting for you outside the door.

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READA World of Possibilities

You taught me that I can always go back to where I was—the comfort of the dark. I hesitated as I took my last step to it because of you. But I reminded myself that you ruined me anyway. So as the shadows crept, I let them wind up around me. I let them bury me deeper into the ground than when you found me. This time, even you can't save me because you also taught me that the one who picked up the pieces but broke me can't be the one to fix me again.

you also taught me that the one who picked up the pieces but broke me can't be the one to fix me again.

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PRIMO.

First. Pixie dust and paper cuts – these are the first things Wendy knew about Peter Pan. Aurora first met Prince Philip when she was sixteen. Learning how to ride a bike was also a first while I was growing up, but you are probably the first of too many. The first collection of dust and stars; maybe Luna will try to ask, who was your first? I might answer and tell her that it was you.

The first of too many stars in the sky. You are the first of too many fallen leaves during fall – and you will be the most anticipated snowflake as winter comes. A dark path that you can’t see without any light, hence, you were once the moon and there are the stars that shine so bright at night. Are we too early? Or we just really want to be ahead of time? Even in a glimpse, I would like to see the two of us connect as if we can reach the sky. There are other parts of the heavens you have never saw and other oceans you haven’t laid your feet onto – but the constellations will always wait for you. Close your eyes, love, close your eyes. Start counting backward: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Count backward until you see the twinkling lights that will guide you to the right path. To the right satellite; to the right person. A first.

There are many firsts – first love, first heartbreak, first sport you played, the first thing you do in the morning, the first thing you remember about the person in front of you. There are a lot. It’s actually up to us how we will consider something as a first. So, Primo, you are already a first of too many.

Bea Alamis A day ago
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