From Our Readers: I Wasn't Enough For You
Have you ever felt broken beyond repair? Broken beyond any help by any means, too broken to even write another word of poetry. I've told myself to numb the pain of heartbreak, to disregard such emotion from my system. But once again, I have failed myself. It is no surprise to me to be rejected; I should have gotten used to it by now. But every break-up still stings as if it were the first one to ruin your life.
Granted our story was quite ephemeral, it didn't lower the value of the affection concocted from our souls. Every word that poured seamlessly from our lips clung itself to our chests like a virus, creating havoc within. The good kind, I might add. You never ceased to let me know of your love for me, of how celestial you thought of my existence. In that moment, we were living in eternal bliss, the honeymoon stage one might say, but all sweetness ended there.
I loved you, I truly I did. But apparently, I wasn't enough for you. I'd wait for you to come home, only to talk to you for a sliver of time. I longed for you, even if you were already by my side. I needed to feel your warmth, to feel you around my arms once more. The comforts of our home had vanquished, and at the same time, your love for me had gone. Was I really that difficult to love? What part of my soul drove you away from me?
But then again, did you truly love me? Or did you just succumb to the first girl who proclaimed her love for you, that girl being me? Were you so desperate for companionship that you went to me as an easy answer to your prayers?
The smart choice would be to cleanse myself of you, to get rid of every bit of you from my body. Sadly, I loved you too much. And sadly, you loved me far too little. You left so easily as if you had choreographed every movement of this sad, sad life, leaving me centerstage, staring into the void and ready to jump.
I, however, did not. I know better now than to let someone like you make me think less of myself. Just wait, I'm going to topple your entire world just as you did mine.
Sent in anonymously. Got your own story to tell? Drop us an email at candymagazine @gmail.com! We'd love to hear what you have to say. If you're lucky, you just might get published in this space, too! Please indicate if you want to remain anonymous. We're also looking for artwork and illustrations to use with the stories, so please send some in if you want to be featured!
What're you up to today? Submit your OOTD, fanfic, essay, school project, org event, a pic of your latest hobby, or anything you want to be posted on the Candy Bulletin page!
To the Person Who Does Not Know Any 1D Song
By: CJ Reyno
Never in my wildest dream I imagined to meet someone who does not know a single One Direction song or who does not even know, Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne, Niall Horan, and err… Zayn Malik. How did you spend your teenagehood without listening to their songs? The disrespect to my #StyPayHorLikSon. My initial reaction, Vas Happenin’?
Since I was 12 years old, that was way back on 2012, One Direction songs have been my official life soundtrip, my go-to songs whenever I feel happy, sad, mad, excited, and etch. I can still remember how people went crazy just to attend their concert here in the Philippines. I must admit, I was one of those. LOL. The group was also dubbed as, “The Biggest Boyband in the World”. They were an era. You really left me in awe when you told me that you do not know a single One Direction song. Their songs are gold. But I was a little hopeful when a new messaged popped up on our conversation, “Hey I know one, Make You Beautiful”.
You do not know how my world collapsed after reading your message. I would like to say that I appreciate the effort, thanks, but they do not have a song entitled, Make You Beautiful, because it is, What Makes You Beautiful. I tried to explain but you said that they are just the same. (Tip: Never fight with a Directioner when it comes to this because we will not let our guards down). No! They are not the same. How can you make this big mistake? LOL. What Makes You Beautiful is One Direction’s debut song. Almost everyone knows this, “you’re insecure, don’t know what for,” ring a bell? The music video of this surpassed 1 billion views on Youtube. On my 21 years of existence, you are the very first person who told me this “I-Thought-It-Was-A-Joke-But-You-Are-Serious” statement.
As a persuasive fangirl, I thought to myself that I should make you appreciate their music, that you should know that it is What Makes You Beautiful, not Make You Beautiful. The group may be in hiatus but their music is and will always remain superior. You are hard-headed lad. We even when to the point where you challenged me to treat so I can make you watch their music video. Am I even surprised that I agreed to this? HAHA. I feel like an agent trying to persuade her customer to buy a property on our company. You do not know how happy I was when you sent me your video listening to What Makes You Beautiful. I felt like I successfully closed a deal with my client. Not to exaggerate but I really jumped because of happiness after watching your video. It was the first message I checked that morning. Thank you for your effort, so much appreciated. Funny how our conversation starts with your innocence on One Direction until it goes deeper and last longer. Up All Nigh conversations which turned to almost Midnight Memories. Ironic how a Directioner had developed an admiration on someone who dislikes her favorite boys? Just like One Direction’s song, Change My Mind, “Never felt like this before. Are we friends or are we more?” I guess, like Liam’s line on Love You Goodbye, “It's inevitable everything that's good comes to an end. It's impossible to know if after this we can still be friends.”
I was happy that I made you listen to One Direction. At least I made you appreciate and made you aware that there is a song called, What Makes You Beautiful, not Make You Beautiful. I am happy that you already found your Girl Almighty. Wish me luck on finding my Summer Love. xoxo, Your Directioner friend
Here's a fan art that I made for Lee Joo Young of Itaewon class! I've been making digital illustration since last year and I'm happy that I was able to see my improvements. I'm also happy to see people's reactions and support for my craft even though all of it are made through my phone (adobe illustrator) only ????. You don't actually have to use expensive or complicated medium as long as you know how to be creative and like what you're doing, then you can do it. ????