It's almost three in the morning and I cannot quite comprehend how things turned in one snap. One second I was trying to forget you, falling back for you the next. I thought I was strong enough to shut you out of my life, forget everything about you and start moving on. But I can't.
All my life, I thought I was like an Alpha. You cannot hurt me, play me, or even get me. But love is a very powerful thing and I fell for it. I can dramatically define it as magical. It turns things you never imagine could be possible. The warm fuzzies and tingling sensations you feel when you talk to him. It was always there, it never left me. And for that I am afraid. Afraid to completely fall with no one to catch me, afraid to engrave painful wounds that would cause scars in my heart again. I love my scars though, my life worked hard for it. The lessons behind those jewels of trials were exceptional, they are the reminder of my many times being strong and my many times being able to face life's tragedies.
READ: This is Everything I'm Afraid To Say
So I always ask myself: If I fall for him now and he's not going to catch me, is it worth it? Is he worth it? I guess I will never know the answer unless I do it. Yes, the falling. It already started and I have to finish it whatever the outcome may be.
So to every person who's having the same battle as me, go for it. Once you fall in love, once you find someone who makes you happy, once you find someone who brings out the best in you and accepts you for what you can and can't do and for who you are, with no pretense and no affectation, tell them. Do not let your chance slip away. Life's too short for it to wait for you until you get ready. It's not important how it might turn out. If they break your heart, and so who cares? The essence of living is being true to yourself. How can you be one true person if you can't admit what you really feel? If you love someone, sometimes setting them free is not the only way. Sometimes, you have to exert courage from your heart and tell that person what you feel. Seek for God's guidance. If they fortunately feel the same, well be glad and be thankful. Once you enter a relationship, be damn serious! Let love keep you going. Let love inspire the both of you.
READ: A Letter to the Girl Who’s Afraid of Falling in Love Again
I hope that one day, you all find the right person meant for you. Someone who will never make you cry, someone who will risk everything just to be with you, someone who will remember every small detail about you, someone who will testify that forever exists and who will see and realize that the very best thing happened to them was your arrival into their life. Don't worry, God knows what he's doing. But only you would know who that person's going to be.
Sent in by Glissel Sarondo. Got your own story to tell? Drop us an email at candymagazine @gmail.com! We'd love to hear what you have to say. If you're lucky, you just might get published in this space, too! Please indicate if you want to remain anonymous. We're also looking for artwork and illustrations to use with the stories, so please send some in if you want to be featured! Please send original, unpublished work only.
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