From Our Readers: I Love You, But I Refuse To Admit It

by You!   |  Sep 16, 2015
ART Trixie Ison
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I Love You, But I Refuse To Admit It

I love you, but I refuse to admit it.

It was just a simple crush at first. The kind that makes you giddy when he's around, but nothing soul-deep level. It was supposed to be just like that.

But destiny is playing tricks on me. In the end, I fell for you. Yes, I am in love you. And even if I deny it to my friends, the people who know me, and even to myself, I know it shows.

READA Recipe for Love

I hate how much I care for you. I hate why I'm upset when you're upset. I hate how emotional I get when I see you. I hate how much I get hurt when you mention the person you love. I hate that even if I tried my hardest, I still fell for you. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. But the truth is, I don't hate you all.

My heart yearns and mourns for you at the same time. I am dejected beyond belief, because I don't know how to handle it. I love you so much it physically and emotionally pains me to see you. I love you so much that I burst into tears whenever I see you, yet you don't know it. I love you so much, it hurts.

Your happiness comes first. And I know someday, I will see you as a friend and nothing more.


But I still refuse to admit it because you don't feel the same way. And I don't want to bother you. You said it doesn't matter who falls first, just run? No, I won't run. Loving someone is already a risk. If I run, the ghost of my past will just haunt me and I'll just run in circles. I don't demand you to love me back, and I'm okay with our situation. I won't run. I love you and I won't leave you and run. I'm going to be there to pick up the pieces once the person you love breaks your heart, or support you when you two become a couple. Your happiness comes first. And I know someday, I will see you as a friend and nothing more.

READTo the Best Friend I Secretly Loved

I'm sorry if I can't say it personally, but I love you. I really do and you don't feel the same way. Someday, I hope I could say, "I loved you". I might not be okay today, but I know soon I will be.

Written by Franczesca Dela Cruz. Got your own story to tell? Drop us an email at candymagazine! We'd love to hear what you have to say. If you're lucky, you just might get published in this space, too!

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