From Our Readers: I'll Stop Trying If You Don't Want Me Anymore
I don't mind the feeling of uncertainty at all.
One day you act as if you notice me, then I counter react (as something that I usually do when I'm around you) and that always turns my whole world upside down. The next day, you act as if I'm just a mere speck of your very own world, where I don't exist at all and we're strangers in the same tides of the sea. Actually, it bugs me out pretty much but by just existing, just by knowing the name that you'll live by till ages, by just breathing the same air in the same distance approximately 10 inches away, tells me that this is the spot I'd rather take than be in a separate scene where there's no you in it.
Yes, I love you. After a whole year and 5 months of watching you be with 4 different girls, yes I still do. After we officially became friends and now closer, I still am irrevocably in love with you. This is the part where somebody should high five me in the face.
But then we started texting, you started to tell our friends that you admired my wit and personality ever since our first year of college. You began to relay the message that I was wrong. That maybe this, we, could be something more than a dream, more than all of my 11:11 wishes combined. But if you really do like me, you wouldn't lie; you wouldn't lie about sleeping early as an excuse not to text me. You would've texted me "good morning" messages or talk to me about deep things, the things that matters to you the most.
And this is the part where it hurts because I know that I'll just be another conquest. The fifth one. So I guess this is it. Because a friend told me once, "A strong woman will automatically stop trying if she feels unwanted. She won't fix it or beg, she'll just walk away."
And that's what I'll do. I'll walk away, but I'm still leaving my heart with you.
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