From Our Readers: I Don't Need You But She Does

by You!   |  Dec 3, 2015
ART Trixie Ison PHOTO Majoy Siason MODELS Gil Cuerva, Siobhan Moylan
MAKEUP Sari Campos HAIR Elaine Ganuelas CLOTHES Forever 21, Penshoppe
Share This!

I don't need you.

She does.

And I can go on and on about how vulnerable I felt that night and how safe you made me feel in your midst. I can ramble about how you constantly validate me and appreciate the things about me that other people don't, but I am nowhere near needing you as much as she does.

In fact, I don't think I even need you at all. For all I care, that was all but a fleeting moment, a feeling that would eventually be going away—nothing like that of a girl who lives and breathes for you.

READThis is the Last Letter You'll Receive From Me

Was I upset by the realization that I could never have you? Yes. Was I hurt by the fact that you couldn't get yourself to stay even just for a while? Yes. There are nights wherein I feel hollow because all of these feels like a painful tease. But I always wake up the morning after remembering how I got myself up on my own two feet after taking great falls in the past and I don't need you to make me feel whole.

She, however, is still trying to process her falls and piece herself back together after being broken. With you, she's always beamed of an air of invincibility, as if she was on top of the world when she was in your arms. Any wound still fresh was healed and left no trace of scars, any feeling of insecurity was masked by the way you held her, any fear was put aside because she found all she really hoped for in you.


READThe Things Only You Taught Me

See, I don't think you realize how much I wanted you after that night. And that's a shame. You were lovely to me, and I think people who do good things need to know they're appreciated.

You were lovely to me, and I think people who do good things need to know they're appreciated.

But at the same time, there's even greater shame in how you hardly ever confront the fact that she's needed you for years – ever since you came around, really. The thing is, she still does, and until you come back around and make it all okay again she isn't going to stop blaming herself for all the moments life's wronged her, especially for that one time you let her go.

I'll be fine, really. Unrequited feelings? Liking a Class A Douchebag? None of this is new to me; I'm used to it. In fact I'm so accustomed to the entire situation that I was able to retreat from it even before it blew up. And besides, it's not as if you'll worry about me anyway.

watch now

READTo the Guy I Took For Granted

But please, don't stop worrying about her, and don't let it stop at worrying. I can only do so much. Our friends can only do so much. But you, you can do everything.

Believe me when I say I don't need you.

She does.

Sent in anonymously. Got your own story to tell? Drop us an email at candymagazine! We'd love to hear what you have to say. If you're lucky, you just might get published in this space, too! Please indicate if you want to remain anonymous. We're also looking for artwork and illustrations to use with the stories, so please send some in if you want to be featured!

How do you feel about this article?
About the author
Our Readers
The good stuff straight from our readers! Submit your feels: and see them on the site.
How do you feel?
Click on your mood to read related stories
The Latest
You can now get your hands on their cool-girl canvas totes!
The gown was designed by acclaimed Filipino designer Michael Leyva!
Here's where you can shop the exact pair of sneakers he wore in Korea!
Fun fact: Atasha Muhlach and Dominique Cojuangco studied at this school!
Don't let these myths hold you back from getting the brows of your dreams.
What happens if I don't pass my first choice campus or course?