Have you ever fallen in love with someone you've just entirely made up inside your head? You meet someone and think "He's the one!!!" But the truth is, he is just made up. Like Augustus Waters. Like Prince Charming or Peter Pan. Have you ever felt like you have met the one you've always been dreaming about since you could ever remember dreaming? Well, if you haven't, here's how it actually feels like.
Of course, you'll end up meeting the person somewhere you often go. The mall. At work. At school. Online. Wherever it is you meet him, you'll end up speechless. And at the back of your mind, you'll find yourself thanking the Universe for noticing how much you've been dreaming of this perfect moment. His face. You know this face. You know this smile, these features. You know this charming grin. You've seen this face a thousand times, perhaps even more, in your dreams. He says hello. You know the things he's about to say because you know him in your mind. You're just not sure if you are awake or dreaming, so you choose to listen. You look into his eyes and wonder what took him so long. You ask him questions. He answers you with confidence. You see in him something that you have never seen in anyone else, and you just know it's him. You smile.
It feels like you've known him for a very long time, but must have just forgotten some major details because that is how it is with time. People remember and people forget. You try so hard to convince yourself it's not only in your dreams that you've seen this person. It's not only inside your head that you've known his existence. You know it in your heart that you have touched him before. You know how he smells like and how he smiles. You know his mannerisms and expressions. You know what he says when things are getting too serious. He makes you laugh, and you know that you've laughed at these jokes before. Long ago. Before he even existed.
Then you realize, It's all in your head. He's not the person you think he is. It's mere coincidence that he tells the same jokes. It's all in your imagination that he smiles or laughs like the person you want him to be. You made him up in your head because you want to finally be happy. You're not in love with him: you're in love with the idea of him.The real one will come someday. Now isn't the right time, not yet.
Mary Elizabeth Francisco blogs at www.marshmary.com. Got your own story to tell? Drop us an email at candymagazine @gmail.com! We'd love to hear what you have to say. If you're lucky, you just might get published in this space, too! Please indicate if you want to remain anonymous.