It started on our sophomore year in highschool, me liking you and you liking someone else. I never knew that crushing on you would end up with me loving you secretly until this day. Five years of liking you will never be the same. Because now, I know that it's already a secret love that makes my heart flutter.
I've been hurting so much knowing that all I can do now is write you this letter hoping that you might read it. It's funny how my love for you grew stronger each day. I tried to stop liking you and hang out with my college friends and tried liking somebody else. But then every time I see you and start a conversation with you, every little kilig thing and all the happy memories with you flash back and I fall for you all over again.
Now that we're part of a small group of friends, I'm afraid I can't handle my secret feelings for you anymore. Every time we hang out, I would force my heart to stop screaming my secret feelings for you and try to keep calm and just be friends. But then I know in my heart that it's just not what I feel for you.
You may really never see me as more than a friend. I know that the love we had will just be always me loving you secretly and you loving me as one of your friends.
I promised my 17-year-old self to keep liking you until the day I turn 18. It was really a roller coaster ride of feelings liking you secretly and falling in love on my own and hitting the ground line of my fantasies. I promised that I would wake up in this beautiful dream of liking someone else like you and start loving you just as a friend now.
You may never know how strong my love for you was but then I will look forward to the time when both of us are happy on our own lives. From then on, I will stop liking you and start my life without my concealed feelings for you.
Our love is like a shooting star, beautiful as it may seem for the ones who love seeing and waiting for it, but just a new ordinary star just like your love for me.
READ: To My Ex-Best Friend
To you my secret first love, I know you may never know how much I really liked you. But now, I free myself from liking and loving you alone. There are so may things yet to come and I really hope for the best things for the both of us. Three years from now I hope I would be an architect and by then I could plan happier things for myself, without any of my secret feelings left.
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