From Our Readers: A Letter for the One Who Left
Isn't it ironic how you left me when you were the one who told me not to leave you? To be honest, I hate you so much right now. I hate the fact that I still love you even after what you've done. You have proven to me that all guys are the same, that they are meant to hurt you. You told me that "I'll prove you wrong." Well, look at us now. Where are we? We're over.
All the "I'm sorry"s and the promises that you've said and made have gone to waste. You have single-handedly crushed my heart into a million pieces. I didn't even think that it was possible, but you did. You broke my heart like it was just some piece of glass that can be glued back together and that can be fixed with an apology. How is it? It's still broken. Because no matter how many "I'm sorry"s you give me, it doesn't change the fact that it's still broken.
Let's try to think positive for a while, shall we? Let's say that you'll ask me for another chance to fix our relationship, to fix us. Let's say that we do get back together. Will things change? No. Because we've been through this a bunch of times already. Even though we get back together, you'll never be the same person that I fell in love with the first time we talked. You'll never be the same person who would text me good morning or good night. You'll never be the same person who always checks up on me whenever I feel down or sick. You'll never be the same, we will never be the same.
How is it so easy for you to leave me, when I almost died of thinking about leaving you? Remember when I said that I was afraid of losing you? I still am. I'm so afraid of losing you that I check up on you constantly. I text you and I even try to call you, but you're too busy. You're just too busy to even speak to me. And I let that slide, because I know how important your studies, basketball, your friends, your family are. That's how much I love you.
I'm such a coward for not telling you this in person. I'm afraid that you'll hate me, or judge me, or even laugh at me. I pity myself sometimes. Because deep down inside, I still hope that you're going to change. Did you not notice your drastic change? I did. And that was one of the reasons why I was afraid to lose you. But you know what? I'm glad that you left me. Because it would hurt more if I did.
Last Saturday, I had a dream that you were going to leave me. And I've been having this feeling that you eventually will. It's not that my faith in you was so little, it was because I had this intuition that you were going to leave so it didn't really shock me that you left. When you actually left that day, it tore me apart. I cried for 5 days straight and every night, I would pray to God that you would tell me that it was all a bad joke. I wish it was just a joke. I tried smiling. I even resulted to stress eating, but it didn't work. Everything just reminded me of you. It came to a point where I didn't even smile anymore. I would just stare at the wall until someone called my attention.
But you know what? I'm okay with it. Because I realized that this will all pass, and someday, I won't miss you as much anymore. Maybe in the near future, I'll be able to look at you and smile. So please don't take offense if I don't, because I'm not ready yet. I'm not ready to breakdown in front of you. But if leaving me will make you feel at ease and happier, then I will allow it. Whatever makes you happy. Because that was my goal from the start: to make you happy. I'm sorry if I wasn't good enough, but I can assure you that I did try my best. I really did. I'm still so lucky to have met you and shared quite an adventure with you. I just want you to know that you're free. And that I hope you'll be happy again. I'll see you around.
Sent in anonymously. Got your own story to tell? Drop us an email at candymagazine @gmail.com! We'd love to hear what you have to say. If you're lucky, you just might get published in this space, too! Please indicate if you want to remain anonymous. We're also looking for artwork and illustrations to use with the stories, so please send some in if you want to be featured!
What're you up to today? Submit your OOTD, fanfic, essay, school project, org event, a pic of your latest hobby, or anything you want to be posted on the Candy Bulletin page!
To the Person Who Does Not Know Any 1D Song
By: CJ Reyno
Never in my wildest dream I imagined to meet someone who does not know a single One Direction song or who does not even know, Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne, Niall Horan, and err… Zayn Malik. How did you spend your teenagehood without listening to their songs? The disrespect to my #StyPayHorLikSon. My initial reaction, Vas Happenin’?
Since I was 12 years old, that was way back on 2012, One Direction songs have been my official life soundtrip, my go-to songs whenever I feel happy, sad, mad, excited, and etch. I can still remember how people went crazy just to attend their concert here in the Philippines. I must admit, I was one of those. LOL. The group was also dubbed as, “The Biggest Boyband in the World”. They were an era. You really left me in awe when you told me that you do not know a single One Direction song. Their songs are gold. But I was a little hopeful when a new messaged popped up on our conversation, “Hey I know one, Make You Beautiful”.
You do not know how my world collapsed after reading your message. I would like to say that I appreciate the effort, thanks, but they do not have a song entitled, Make You Beautiful, because it is, What Makes You Beautiful. I tried to explain but you said that they are just the same. (Tip: Never fight with a Directioner when it comes to this because we will not let our guards down). No! They are not the same. How can you make this big mistake? LOL. What Makes You Beautiful is One Direction’s debut song. Almost everyone knows this, “you’re insecure, don’t know what for,” ring a bell? The music video of this surpassed 1 billion views on Youtube. On my 21 years of existence, you are the very first person who told me this “I-Thought-It-Was-A-Joke-But-You-Are-Serious” statement.
As a persuasive fangirl, I thought to myself that I should make you appreciate their music, that you should know that it is What Makes You Beautiful, not Make You Beautiful. The group may be in hiatus but their music is and will always remain superior. You are hard-headed lad. We even when to the point where you challenged me to treat so I can make you watch their music video. Am I even surprised that I agreed to this? HAHA. I feel like an agent trying to persuade her customer to buy a property on our company. You do not know how happy I was when you sent me your video listening to What Makes You Beautiful. I felt like I successfully closed a deal with my client. Not to exaggerate but I really jumped because of happiness after watching your video. It was the first message I checked that morning. Thank you for your effort, so much appreciated. Funny how our conversation starts with your innocence on One Direction until it goes deeper and last longer. Up All Nigh conversations which turned to almost Midnight Memories. Ironic how a Directioner had developed an admiration on someone who dislikes her favorite boys? Just like One Direction’s song, Change My Mind, “Never felt like this before. Are we friends or are we more?” I guess, like Liam’s line on Love You Goodbye, “It's inevitable everything that's good comes to an end. It's impossible to know if after this we can still be friends.”
I was happy that I made you listen to One Direction. At least I made you appreciate and made you aware that there is a song called, What Makes You Beautiful, not Make You Beautiful. I am happy that you already found your Girl Almighty. Wish me luck on finding my Summer Love. xoxo, Your Directioner friend
Here's a fan art that I made for Lee Joo Young of Itaewon class! I've been making digital illustration since last year and I'm happy that I was able to see my improvements. I'm also happy to see people's reactions and support for my craft even though all of it are made through my phone (adobe illustrator) only ????. You don't actually have to use expensive or complicated medium as long as you know how to be creative and like what you're doing, then you can do it. ????