I have a lot of things to say to you. I don't even know where to begin. But let me tell you first how I felt when I first met you. I know I never told you this but, the first time I saw you, my heart jumped. You see, you made the world stop when I first met you. Even though you ignored me before, I still found you great. Later, I found myself hating your jokes but when we started talking, I thought you were different. You're family oriented, you're hard working and most importantly, you understand. Since then, I never thought of anybody else but you. You brought me sunshine, you brought me life. And I'm thankful I'm with you or been with you for a long time... I guess. For now.
I know what I did was stupid. I know I hurt you many times. And I know sorry will no longer be enough. I know I have wronged you for countless of times already. And I know I hurt you and left a deep cut. I didn't know I was hurting you that much. I didn't know my actions were breaking your heart. I never mean it. I have never thought of doing those on purpose. I never wanted it to happen. Never. I would never want to hurt you. Sadly, I did.
READ: You Will Break My Heart
Forgive me if I have made you felt that way. I never wanted it. I swear I would never want to hurt you. You say you're tired. I'm sorry I made you feel sick and tired of it. Had I known it would happen, I would have done anything to stop it, to stop myself from hurting you.
This is probably one of the longest fights we've ever had. Almost a week and counting. It's tiring. It's draining all of my senses, my energy, my will, my hope. It rips me off. I feel like I'm breaking into pieces each day I can't talk to you. I want to ask you many things. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking if you've gone home. Or if you're doing fine. Have you even eaten your dinner? What happened to your day? But I couldn't ask you. I can't. I'm afraid I might just be rejected. Right now, a blanket of fear wraps me around. And instead of keeping me warm in the cold days night, I feel colder, my hands getting harder every day, turning me blue.
I don't know what to do. I'm not doing anything, not because I don't care for you at all or I don't want us back together. I'm not doing anything because I feel like one more mistake and I'll be cutting you loose. I'm too afraid to worsen the situation, to make you feel even worse, to cut into your heart a little deeper, to make it hurt more. I'm sorry.
I just want you to feel okay. I know what I did was painful. If I were in your place, I'd be desperate. I'd be hurt. I'd be mourning. I'm sorry. I miss you.
Sent in by Cherry May Tibon. Got your own story to tell? Drop us an email at candymagazine @gmail.com! We'd love to hear what you have to say. If you're lucky, you just might get published in this space, too! Please indicate if you want to remain anonymous. We're also looking for artwork and illustrations to use with the stories, so please send some in if you want to be featured!
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