From Our From Our Readers: Things I Will Not Be Able To Tell You Personally
First because I can't.
It's been years of being with you. I love being with you. Scratch that. I loved*.
I woke up one day not excited to look at my phone. I woke up not wondering why there's no message from you. I guess it's because I got used to it. Maybe because you trained me. You ignored me all the time.
It was all about you before. It was all about you and your problems, you and your lies, you and your needs. But when I woke up that day, it all became about me. I woke up realizing who I am, realizing my worth. I am worth it. I was worth it before you came into my life, I was worth it when we were together, I'm worth it now, and I'm worth it every day of my life. But you never let me feel that I was.
I was worth it before you came into my life, I was worth it when we were together, I'm worth it now, and I'm worth it every day of my life.
You would always say "I love you," or "I miss you," but you never showed it. I would ask you questions to make sure you're honest, and you would lie to my face. I would go home seeing proofs of your lies. I would cry, I would get hurt, but in the end I would still chase you. Because I love you. Because you mattered to me.
We've been together for so many years and I would always be the one planning our dates, or giving you gifts. That went on for years. But I never said a word—I never complained. Because I don't need you to replace what I gave you. I just wanted you to truly love me back. But you never let yourself love me back. You showed me that you care, but never showed me love.
Today, I'm thanking you for being selfish. I gave you everything, I gave you 100% of me, I received 5% of you. Thank you for letting me love you.
Sent in by Arianne Jae Villalon. Got feels? Submit your story here!