How Do I Know If My Friendship Is Falling Apart Or Just Low-Maintenance?
It’s interesting to imagine how friendships work—isn’t it necessary to have persistent contact for friendships to work? How do you remain friends when you don’t even talk? Well, as weird as it seems, such connections actually exist, and they’re often referred to as low-maintenance friendships. If you and a friend have this kind of connection, congrats! It’s a bit difficult to navigate through a complicated social setup, but you’re both making it work. So, how would I know if I am in the company of a low-maintenance friend, or if my relationship with them is simply spiraling down? Here are some things to note:
You don’t see each other for weeks because you’re both super busy, but you’re both very understanding of the situation.
Finals week is coming up and setting aside all the exams you have to study for, there’s still a mountain of papers you have to write and group projects you've yet to accomplish. Your friend, on the other hand, has thesis they need to write and an org project they need to organize. You both have no time to meet up, not even for a quick lunch at the cafeteria. But, even with the lack of physical interaction, you both have this innate understanding that, despite living separate lives, your friendship still remains intact. Your closeness doesn’t go away just because you’re trying to live your best life, even without constantly being at each other’s sides.
You still make it a habit to check up on each other.
Maybe you and that friend go to different schools and have different schedules. But it’s nice to know that your friend still gets to sneak in a “How are you, I miss you” message on FB during their break time, even if you reply a few hours late because you had three straight classes that day. Sometimes, you would randomly get a text from that friend telling you how hyped they are over a TV show or movie (even if you’re not a super fan like them!) and feel relieved that, despite your busy and draining schedules, there’s something your friend still gets excited about in life and they choose to share it with you. You also appreciate it when they would sporadically reassure you that they are one call away for when you’re having a mental breakdown and feel like crying.
It never feels awkward to meet up again after not seeing each other for so long.
Do you ever get that awkward feeling at a family gathering when you see that one cousin you used to play tagu-taguan with but haven’t seen in recent years? That isn’t the case for you and your low-maintenance friend, even if you’ve only ever caught glimpses of each other once or twice in the hallways for the entire semester.
Regardless of how petty it seems to other people, you still keep in touch on social media (if you both use it) by liking each other’s tweets or reacting to each other’s Instagram stories. You may not be seeing each other in person as often as you’d like, but you still manage to stay in touch and up-to-date with each other’s lives in some other way.
You go through different things in life but you both know that your struggles are equally valid.
You never feel like you’re more preoccupied than your friend or that what you’re doing is far more socially relevant than whatever your friend is pursuing in life. You just know that you both have your own things going on. You struggle and cope in different ways, but are always there to cheer each other on for support, even in the littlest of gestures.
You both acknowledge that growing individually doesn’t mean growing apart.
Some people go weeks or months without seeing other and feel like they’re meeting up with a stranger because of how much the other person has changed. But for that low-maintenance friend, you’re still that caffeine-driven go-getter they met during the first day of college, only this time, you’re wiser and more emotionally stable than the last time they saw you. They would understand and support the fact that you’ve matured and learned a lot about life despite their absence, and you’d feel the same exact thing for them.
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Here's my two cents on the letter, call for help of our medical frontliners. Let’s hear what our healthcare workers have to say and try to understand it from their point of view, they have every right to criticize how this medical crisis is being handled by the government... after all, they're the experts on the topic. Though we see the frontliners as heroes in our eyes, the lack of concrete plans from the government to combat COVID-19 makes them feel otherwise. Healthcare workers are already starting to voice out how they feel as though they are being sacrificed as they follow through their sworn oath. We wouldn’t send our soldiers to war unarmed and without a concrete plan; the same should be expected for our frontliners. How can we send them to battle without proper gear? Why is there still a debate on whether mass testing is needed or not when the experts on that field continuously insist its importance in flattening the curve? Why is this still not the priority when it’s literally our lives on the line? It’s not like the medical experts demanding for mass testing are just stating their opinion about this mindlessly, they studied this laboriously. Make them feel heard so that all the sacrifices that they’re doing and all the deaths of their colleagues are not in vain. More than the words of praises, what our medical professionals truly need right now is TANGIBLE support. Here is to hoping they get that soon. @errren.22
*Minor edits have been made for clarity
Here is a photograph taken yesterday from the photo shoot I did in our house. ? I really love dressing up and being dolled up, it makes me feel great and confident of who I am ?
I was actually hesitant to post these pictures of mine. My sister eveb asked me to change my Facebook Profile Picture and it took me hours to decide if I should. But, I realized that this is me, the real me. I should be confident of my body and of who I really am.
At the end of the day, I dress up not for other people but for myself ? To all the ladies out there and even gentlemen who are taking a second to think if they should post their pictures, worried about what will others say their body, remember that we just need to be just ourselves. Be confident and let us support each other ? Let us be friends! IG: @romynaaaaaaa_
They say time heals all wounds, but it has been ages - is heartbreak exempted?
I have forgotten when was the last time we shared a smile - the last time when I saw the glow in your eyes and the last time when you whispered an I love you to me. I have forgotten when, but here I am - writing to you again.
I do not know if you will read this or you will just add this one to my proses and poems that you left unread, but you see, I am still hoping. I am mailing the pain of us to the gods out there - hoping they can take the pain away. I should have gotten over you, but instead of forgetting and accepting our ending, I am writing about us in tissue sheets, carving about us on trees, telling about us on the back of my journals, hoping that a thousand or a million write ups about us, can make me forget about what happened.
I am writing, waiting for the point where I can no longer write anymore, for I have none to tell - but when? I have nothing in me anymore, but the memories of us - and no matter how hard I try put those to its own grave, the memories grow back like lilies in the swamp - painful and beautiful at the same time.
No matter how hard I try to silence those and put it at the back of my mind, those ring back, playing like the favorite song we used to listen. They say heartbreaks turn into poetry and that is what happening to us - but poetry should be dulcet and dreamy, why does ours sound like pain and agony? They say time heals all wounds, but it has been ages - is heartbreak exempted? Darling, I guess not.
Bored this quarantine? Ever heard of the #chloetingchallenge? Since you got a lot of time in your hands, why not try Chloe Ting's workouts for free? YES! You heard it right. For FREE!
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