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Gusto Rin Ni Friend Ang Crush Ko—What Do I Do?

Here are some things to consider when you and your friend find yourselves in this situation.
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For friends who bond over the same interests, having a crush on the same person isn’t entirely unlikely. You both have good taste, after all (Naks!). However, liking the same person isn’t exactly similar to having the same bias in a K-Pop group or fangirling over the same cute actors where you both can fangirl and melt over how charming and talented they are from a considerable distance. Liking the same person may involve either of you forming an actual mutual relationship with the person you like, and that’s on a whole other level. Here are some things to consider when you and your friend find yourselves in this situation:

It’s not about who called dibs.

First things first, it’s not essentially about who liked the person first if neither of you is dating or is already in a relationship with the person you both like. It’s not exactly fun and ~mature~ to call dibs on someone, they’re not a prize. Agreeing that it’s not about who liked the person first shows that you’re not desperate enough to resort to petty ways just to end up with your crush.

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Talk about it with one another.

Just like in any other relationship, the best way to deal with the situation is through effective communication. Have a sit-down conversation with your friend about your common crush, talk things through, and hear one another’s sides. How committed are both of you to pursuing your crush? Are you both willing to reach a compromise if one of you decides that they want to try dating that person?  

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Consider the person you like and how they feel.

There’s a third person involved in your dilemma, so it’s naturally essential that you take their perspective into consideration. Who does that person like? Are they actually looking to be in a relationship? If you’re brave enough, you and your friend can try to approach your crush and bring up the sitch in a very casual way.

Just don’t strike up a conversation with your crush and say terrible things about your friend—so not cool! Try to be, at the very least, transparent with your friend about what you and your crush have talked about in one-on-one convos, and ask them to do the same with you, just to see where everyone stands.

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Whatever happens, don’t let someone come between you and your friend.

Look back at your friendship and reassess whether your campus crush is worth risking your precious relationship with that friend who’s been with you through happy moments and awful heartbreaks. Is the potential of one romantic relationship worth canceling one of the best relationships you currently have going for you? It’s a no for us, but hey, the decision is still up to you.

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Mylene Mendoza
Candy Staff Writer
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PRIMO.

First. Pixie dust and paper cuts – these are the first things Wendy knew about Peter Pan. Aurora first met Prince Philip when she was sixteen. Learning how to ride a bike was also a first while I was growing up, but you are probably the first of too many. The first collection of dust and stars; maybe Luna will try to ask, who was your first? I might answer and tell her that it was you.

The first of too many stars in the sky. You are the first of too many fallen leaves during fall – and you will be the most anticipated snowflake as winter comes. A dark path that you can’t see without any light, hence, you were once the moon and there are the stars that shine so bright at night. Are we too early? Or we just really want to be ahead of time? Even in a glimpse, I would like to see the two of us connect as if we can reach the sky. There are other parts of the heavens you have never saw and other oceans you haven’t laid your feet onto – but the constellations will always wait for you. Close your eyes, love, close your eyes. Start counting backward: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Count backward until you see the twinkling lights that will guide you to the right path. To the right satellite; to the right person. A first.

There are many firsts – first love, first heartbreak, first sport you played, the first thing you do in the morning, the first thing you remember about the person in front of you. There are a lot. It’s actually up to us how we will consider something as a first. So, Primo, you are already a first of too many.

Bea Alamis A day ago
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