For friends who bond over the same interests, having a crush on the same person isn’t entirely unlikely. You both have good taste, after all (Naks!). However, liking the same person isn’t exactly similar to having the same bias in a K-Pop group or fangirling over the same cute actors where you both can fangirl and melt over how charming and talented they are from a considerable distance. Liking the same person may involve either of you forming an actual mutual relationship with the person you like, and that’s on a whole other level. Here are some things to consider when you and your friend find yourselves in this situation:
It’s not about who called dibs.
First things first, it’s not essentially about who liked the person first if neither of you is dating or is already in a relationship with the person you both like. It’s not exactly fun and ~mature~ to call dibs on someone, they’re not a prize. Agreeing that it’s not about who liked the person first shows that you’re not desperate enough to resort to petty ways just to end up with your crush.
Talk about it with one another.
Just like in any other relationship, the best way to deal with the situation is through effective communication. Have a sit-down conversation with your friend about your common crush, talk things through, and hear one another’s sides. How committed are both of you to pursuing your crush? Are you both willing to reach a compromise if one of you decides that they want to try dating that person?
Consider the person you like and how they feel.
There’s a third person involved in your dilemma, so it’s naturally essential that you take their perspective into consideration. Who does that person like? Are they actually looking to be in a relationship? If you’re brave enough, you and your friend can try to approach your crush and bring up the sitch in a very casual way.
Just don’t strike up a conversation with your crush and say terrible things about your friend—so not cool! Try to be, at the very least, transparent with your friend about what you and your crush have talked about in one-on-one convos, and ask them to do the same with you, just to see where everyone stands.
Whatever happens, don’t let someone come between you and your friend.
Look back at your friendship and reassess whether your campus crush is worth risking your precious relationship with that friend who’s been with you through happy moments and awful heartbreaks. Is the potential of one romantic relationship worth canceling one of the best relationships you currently have going for you? It’s a no for us, but hey, the decision is still up to you.