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Folding of Feelings

When feelings are like clothes that need washing, ironing, and taking care of.
PHOTO The CW

Folding of feelings.

Just like clothes that are wrinkled after they have been squeezed, drenched, and cleaned. Needed to do some straightening until they get organized. To look better again.

We undergo circumstances that make us dirtied and we need a little bit of washing to get rid of the dirt, or a major one if the damage is much bigger than expected. After that, we should iron the folds that were accumulated in order to fix ourselves.

As we continually walk on this seemingly endless path, various circumstances will get in our way. And it can damage us in ways we may or may not be able to handle. And we can't avoid being tainted by spots that we immediately want to get rid of. So we cleanse ourselves. Washing away the angst brought by those complications, whatever they may be. Letting the humidity and the wind do their part by drying the remnants of what has been stained, even if it irritates our eyes, our skin. We try to fix the crumpled image by attempting to straightenit. Not to cover what has been damaged, but to bring back what it once was. Impossible or not.

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Folding of feelings.

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Letting go of the previous emotion that made or broke you.

No matter how much you wanted to insist that you still believe everything will fall perfectly in its right place, and that the universe will conspire to make your plans come true, it will all go to waste if the feelings are not mutual.

Deciding to let go of that feeling that once made you the happiest person in the world. But now it's the one that destroys you, brings you misery.

At some point, when you finally make up your mind to forget about these unrequited feelings, fate will intervene and will turn the world upside down. And just when you thought all is right in your world again, everything is ruined.

You suddenly can't decipher what's real or not. Are you being deceived? Why is so confusing? You want to control your feelings, keep it inside you, but it's much stronger than you. And in the end, you just feel ruined again.

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After everything is over and the dust has settled, you don't regret being broken. You believe you made the right decision. Being flawed is alright. You need to accept that we all are damaged. Wrecked. And after the pain, we still manage to keep our heads up, going along the flow of the Universe. And the cycle goes on and on and on. We stumble, we fall down. It hurts. But as we get a hold of ourselves again, we know the worst isn't over. And we brace ourselves for the storms that are yet to come.

Folding of feelings.

You can fold your feelings and try to keep it in a safe place, but never in a way that will predict your fate. You take things as they come and decide how to deal: will you swim with it or go against the current? Whether or not the outcome will be good or bad, it's up to you to decide how you'll receive it.

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Leslie Anne Caranyagan blogs at taciturnip112.livejournal.com.

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