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You're Not Lazy, You're Just Afraid to Fail, Experts Say

You're probably putting things off for a deeper reason.
IMAGE Informant Media

There are a lot of reasons why there are times you just don't seem to have the drive to do anything, even when you know that you still have a lot left to accomplish. And this sometimes makes you hard on yourself, especially when you start looking at former classmates or people younger than you with passion projects and numerous accomplishments. While you, or others, may think that you're just being lazy, your procrastination isn't only about wanting to chill and slack off responsibilities, as experts from Oregon State University say that there may be a deeper psychological meaning to putting things off, such as the fear of failure.

Delaying the inevitable could only mean you're finding a way to escape it. You may postpone an activity or a confrontation in the hopes that it'll resolve itself or go away on its own. The article, inspired by Dr. David D. Burn's Ten Days to Self Esteem, notes that people who are afraid of messing things up would rather forgo trying than to even have the remote chance of failure: "because I really did not try, I truly did not fail."

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If you think you're the kind of person who puts things off because you're afraid of making mistakes, then remember this statement by author and serial entrepreneur Jonathan Fields in a post by Warren Berger on FastCo.Design: "Failure in any endeavor is rarely absolute." He says that failure is often thought about "in a vague, exaggerated way, we're afraid to even think about it clearly." One way to face this fear is to understand what you can do to cope when it does happen. Thinking logically, you'll realize that you have the resources within and outside yourself to survive failure.

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So the next time you're stuck in a rut, remember that you can and will survive any possible fallout. Just jump right into it; you'll never know how far you'll go unless you try.

This story originally appeared on Femalenetwork.com.

* Minor edits have been made by the Candymag.com editors.

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Charlene J. Owen for FemaleNetwork.com
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To the Person Who Does Not Know Any 1D Song

By: CJ Reyno

Never in my wildest dream I imagined to meet someone who does not know a single One Direction song or who does not even know, Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne, Niall Horan, and err… Zayn Malik. How did you spend your teenagehood without listening to their songs? The disrespect to my #StyPayHorLikSon. My initial reaction, Vas Happenin’?

Since I was 12 years old, that was way back on 2012, One Direction songs have been my official life soundtrip, my go-to songs whenever I feel happy, sad, mad, excited, and etch. I can still remember how people went crazy just to attend their concert here in the Philippines. I must admit, I was one of those. LOL. The group was also dubbed as, “The Biggest Boyband in the World”. They were an era. You really left me in awe when you told me that you do not know a single One Direction song. Their songs are gold. But I was a little hopeful when a new messaged popped up on our conversation, “Hey I know one, Make You Beautiful”.

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You do not know how my world collapsed after reading your message. I would like to say that I appreciate the effort, thanks, but they do not have a song entitled, Make You Beautiful, because it is, What Makes You Beautiful. I tried to explain but you said that they are just the same. (Tip: Never fight with a Directioner when it comes to this because we will not let our guards down). No! They are not the same. How can you make this big mistake? LOL. What Makes You Beautiful is One Direction’s debut song. Almost everyone knows this, “you’re insecure, don’t know what for,” ring a bell? The music video of this surpassed 1 billion views on Youtube. On my 21 years of existence, you are the very first person who told me this “I-Thought-It-Was-A-Joke-But-You-Are-Serious” statement.

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As a persuasive fangirl, I thought to myself that I should make you appreciate their music, that you should know that it is What Makes You Beautiful, not Make You Beautiful. The group may be in hiatus but their music is and will always remain superior. You are hard-headed lad. We even when to the point where you challenged me to treat so I can make you watch their music video. Am I even surprised that I agreed to this? HAHA. I feel like an agent trying to persuade her customer to buy a property on our company. You do not know how happy I was when you sent me your video listening to What Makes You Beautiful. I felt like I successfully closed a deal with my client. Not to exaggerate but I really jumped because of happiness after watching your video. It was the first message I checked that morning. Thank you for your effort, so much appreciated. Funny how our conversation starts with your innocence on One Direction until it goes deeper and last longer. Up All Nigh conversations which turned to almost Midnight Memories. Ironic how a Directioner had developed an admiration on someone who dislikes her favorite boys? Just like One Direction’s song, Change My Mind, “Never felt like this before. Are we friends or are we more?” I guess, like Liam’s line on Love You Goodbye, “It's inevitable everything that's good comes to an end. It's impossible to know if after this we can still be friends.”

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I was happy that I made you listen to One Direction. At least I made you appreciate and made you aware that there is a song called, What Makes You Beautiful, not Make You Beautiful. I am happy that you already found your Girl Almighty. Wish me luck on finding my Summer Love. xoxo, Your Directioner friend

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