Friends who can make time to hang out and catch up with you are much appreciated, but does that mean that the friends who can’t (because they’re swamped with too many things on their plates) no longer matter because they can’t put in the same amount of effort for you? It sucks not to have your schedules synced, but we all have our own lives and issues to deal with. Before you decide if it’s F.O. between you and that busy bee of a friend, you might want to consider these things first:
TBH, your friends would probably want to hang out with you, too.
If they had a choice, your busy friends would probably choose to chill and spend some time with you instead of stress over acads (wouldn’t you?), but their academic responsibilities simply won’t allow them to do so. Let’s be honest: If it was you in their place, wouldn’t your conscience say that school should come first before having fun? And if it were you in their shoes, wouldn’t you appreciate a little understanding from them, too? It sucks to be turned down every single time you propose a fun hangout, but it sucks a lot more to witness a friend miss a deadline—or worse, flunk a subject—knowing that you may have had something to do with it.
They’re probably going through hell stressing out about their responsibilities already.
That friend with a hectic schedule is probably already being badgered by parents who expect high grades from them, professors and group mates who anticipate their submissions on a given deadline, or org mates who rely on them to play their part in ongoing projects. They categorically would not appreciate the negativity that comes with your constant remarks about how they don’t make time for you anymore.
It might be more ideal for you to check in on them from time to time. Send them a little motivational message to keep them going, reassure them that they’re doing a good job by being the responsible person that they are, or tell them that you can wait to hear about their rants and chika once they’ve conquered that stressful patch in life.
We’re in the age of social media, so we might as well take advantage of it.
If there’s one good thing we can take out of living in the digital era, it’s that it allows us to stay connected almost all the time even with people who are an entire continent away. In times when we can’t physically connect with one another, we’re essentially quite privileged to have various modes of communication readily accessible to us—from FaceTime, Messenger, Viber, Telegram, even Instagram, and a thousand other messaging and social platforms. There’s practically no excuse not to stay connected now, except maybe for poor internet connection, but that’s a whole other story.
Stress is short-lived, but your friendship is forever.
At the end of the day, we know that stress is ephemeral—it won’t last forever. One day, your friend will emerge out of their hectic haze of deadlines and responsibilities—tired, beaten, but triumphant. And you’ll be there at the finish line to take their hand and drag them to your go-to hangout spot to celebrate the victory, or lead them back home to bless them with some R&R with a side of catching up.