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Why You Shouldn’t Just Give Up On Friends 'Na Wala Nang Time Para Sa'yo'

Stress is short-lived, but your friendship is forever.
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Friends who can make time to hang out and catch up with you are much appreciated, but does that mean that the friends who can’t (because they’re swamped with too many things on their plates) no longer matter because they can’t put in the same amount of effort for you? It sucks not to have your schedules synced, but we all have our own lives and issues to deal with. Before you decide if it’s F.O. between you and that busy bee of a friend, you might want to consider these things first:

TBH, your friends would probably want to hang out with you, too.

If they had a choice, your busy friends would probably choose to chill and spend some time with you instead of stress over acads (wouldn’t you?), but their academic responsibilities simply won’t allow them to do so. Let’s be honest: If it was you in their place, wouldn’t your conscience say that school should come first before having fun? And if it were you in their shoes, wouldn’t you appreciate a little understanding from them, too? It sucks to be turned down every single time you propose a fun hangout, but it sucks a lot more to witness a friend miss a deadline—or worse, flunk a subject—knowing that you may have had something to do with it. 

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They’re probably going through hell stressing out about their responsibilities already.

That friend with a hectic schedule is probably already being badgered by parents who expect high grades from them, professors and group mates who anticipate their submissions on a given deadline, or org mates who rely on them to play their part in ongoing projects. They categorically would not appreciate the negativity that comes with your constant remarks about how they don’t make time for you anymore. 

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It might be more ideal for you to check in on them from time to time. Send them a little motivational message to keep them going, reassure them that they’re doing a good job by being the responsible person that they are, or tell them that you can wait to hear about their rants and chika once they’ve conquered that stressful patch in life.

We’re in the age of social media, so we might as well take advantage of it.

If there’s one good thing we can take out of living in the digital era, it’s that it allows us to stay connected almost all the time even with people who are an entire continent away. In times when we can’t physically connect with one another, we’re essentially quite privileged to have various modes of communication readily accessible to us—from FaceTime, Messenger, Viber, Telegram, even Instagram, and a thousand other messaging and social platforms. There’s practically no excuse not to stay connected now, except maybe for poor internet connection, but that’s a whole other story.

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Stress is short-lived, but your friendship is forever.

At the end of the day, we know that stress is ephemeral—it won’t last forever. One day, your friend will emerge out of their hectic haze of deadlines and responsibilities—tired, beaten, but triumphant. And you’ll be there at the finish line to take their hand and drag them to your go-to hangout spot to celebrate the victory, or lead them back home to bless them with some R&R with a side of catching up.

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Mylene Mendoza
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Katherine Go 9 hours ago

Cold Food

The most thrilling and delightful moment of any school day is opening up your baon during breaks. There is always so much excitement in unveiling your homemade meal and snacks housed inside matching heat-insulating containers. Because preparing packed meals is an age-old tradition of showing parental love, loved ones pour effort into curating a nutritious meal accompanied by a selection of side dishes, desserts, and beverages daily; it reminds us that we are being taken care of, even from far away.

Baon plays a significant role in a Filipino childhood. Almost every Filipino child comes to school with baon made especially for them by their parents or household helpers. Even Filipinos in the labor force continue to bring baon for varying reasons: to save money, recycle leftovers, cater to personal taste, or attend to special needs. Nonetheless, eating your baon is a heart-warming experience that allows Filipinos to bring a piece of home along with them wherever they go.

Even other cultures practice making packed lunch. In Japan, mothers create bento--Japanese meals in partitioned boxes. Because of the popularity of bento, trends have emerged, such as the Kyaraben, or character-themed bento. Naturally, Japanese parents and students began competing for who had the cutest and tastiest bento, and this is similar to what I have witnessed in my own childhood. I remember seeing my classmates sharing their snacks and lunches. They would compare and boast about their parents' or yayas’ cooking. In my case, I never had the chance to join in the competition or indulge in homemade cooking. Up until this day, I have never brought any baon to school.

For a long time, I envied others. As trivial or petty as it may seem, not having baon became a problem for my grade school self. During that time, I had to sit in a separate cafeteria away from my friends because the kids who bought food were assigned to sit elsewhere. You could consider me spoiled, but I wanted to experience something most kids did. I had food at home, so what made it so hard to bring some with me to school?

Now that I am on my final year in high school I have come to realize the benefits of purchasing my own food. Since I spent on food everyday, I learned to budget my allowance at a young age. Over the years, I learned to practice self-control whenever I wanted to eat more greasy fries and drink sweetened beverages. I have tasted the strangest viands at the school cafeterias, and I have repeatedly satiated myself over my latest delicious discoveries. Despite the struggles, I am thankful that I have never had baon because of what I have learned. Not to mention, I never had to experience eating cold food.

Choosing between dreams and practicality is never easy. My CETs season just ended with the release of the UPCAT results. Anxious as I logged on the website, I started to think about what would happen if I didn't pass UP. Ever since I was six years old, I fixated on the idea that I will become an iska, serving the country and studying at my dream school, which is UP. I strived and studied hard for the UPCAT, sacrificing a lot of things like hang-outs and gala weekends for reviews.

Throughout my CETs journey, I started seeing myself studying only in UP, and while there were no results yet, my friends and I already started planning our lives around the fact that we're gonna study in UP. It was a big deal for me, my friends and my family that I get the chance to study in UP since it's so far from my hometown which is Benguet, and better yet, it's a very well known university.

January 2020 came and universities started releasing CETs results. I was expecting my DCAT and ACET results that month. I passed DCAT but brushed it off because even though I liked the school, I never really saw myself studying there. Same thoughts with Ateneo, since it never really crossed my mind that I might study in ADMU. In fact, Ateneo was never really a choice for me, I only took it just to have another choice in case I failed the UPCAT. I also applied for financial aid not because I was really planning on studying there, but more of "para lang sure na may college ako". I know it's a bad thing but they were just my back-up schools because my main goal was really UP.

One Friday afternoon, ACET results came out. I passed, managed to get a scholarship, and in that moment, my plans just started to crumble.

Seeing that I got a 100% tuition and fees discount, free dorm fees, and an additional book allowance got me into considering studying to Ateneo. Suddenly, I got torn between UP, my dream school, and Ateneo, which offers so much more.

As the months passed, and after talking to my parents, my plans and decisions got more jumbled and messy. I still wanted to go to UP even if there were no results yet but Ateneo offering so much would mean a lesser burden to my parents in terms of finances.

Even though my parents told me that they'll support me no matter where I choose to go, the practicality that Ateneo offers in terms of finances was not an easy thing to waive. Sometimes I would laugh at the fact that I'd spend less on a private school than on a state university. Talking to my friends helped somehow, but they also have various opinions about the two universities. I managed to tell myself to hold off the problem until UPCAT results get released, and so I did.

UP released the UPCAT results and seeing that I passed made me scream and cry, literally. At that moment, all I was thinking was that I passed my dream school and I'm officially a QC college student.

My parents were so proud of me even though they got scared because I screamed, but ultimately, they were happy for me. The next day, I sat down, stared at my UPCAT and ACET results, and told myself that I needed to decide. This was the hardest part. I tried deciding using the pros and cons method but it didn't really work. Talking to my parents also didn't help because they'd support me either way, so their judgement was not a factor at all. I also had the same course in both schools so that wasn't a big help. I was 99% close to letting go of my dream university and decide to go to Ateneo.

I weighed options and Ateneo was the cheaper and more practical option. I also started to see myself studying as a blue eagle, roaming around the campus etc. And financially, I didn't need to worry much except for food. At that point, I started to really like the idea of going to Ateneo more than studying in UP. But then, as the weeks went by, the Ateneo Plan started to lose my interest.

I realized that studying in Ateneo would be a great opportunity, but not something that will really make me happy. The finances and all would be so much better but I wouldn't be happy and content, and I felt that Ateneo couldn't give me everything that I wanted and needed. Then a light bulb lit up.

As I was imagining myself at UP, I ultimately felt that happiness and content that I didn't feel with Ateneo. I realized that, if I didn't study in UP, I know later in my life, I would regret it. I would regret not choosing my dream university because I didn't choose what would make me happy.

In short, I chose my dream over practicality. I know that I would be successful in both tracks, but I simply chose my dream because it is where I'm happier and more content. Besides, we can make our dreams practical but not all the time can the practical choice equate to our dreams. So to those having a hard time choosing between dreams and practicality, weigh it out and always remember to put yourself and your happiness first. And of course, choose the choice that you know you'll not regret later on.

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