Not Taking The Course Your Parents Chose For You Doesn't Make You A Bad Person

But it doesn't make your parents bad people, too.
by Mylene Mendoza   |  Jan 17, 2020
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If you’re reading this, chances are, you have at least one parent who “strongly suggests” you take a particular course in college. It might be because they think that course would lead to a job that would make you financially comfortable in the future, or that it’s the same course they took when they were in college and they wanted you to continue the legacy. Still, don’t feel guilty if you feel like it’s actually not the right course for you!

It doesn’t make your parents bad people, too.

Before anything else, do know that most parents do this out of care and wanting what is best for you, even if the decision was made out of poor judgement. Still, there are cases when parents get too involved in our lives that often reaches unhealthy levels and adversely affect how we deal with the world later on in life. We, after all, must have the room for growth that comes from our own adventures and mistakes in life.

There are aspects of you your parents may not know of.

We may not often notice but our parents view us differently from how other people—like our friends—do. Their perception of us may not even closely resemble our true personalities. It’s not your fault, however, if you feel like you are not comfortable opening up to your parents entirely. It could also be that some people tend to adopt different personas in different settings, similar to how we use different social media accounts for our varied interests. Your ‘home’ persona might not entirely reflect your ‘school’ persona—they may even be entirely different from each other—and that’s fine.

Still, for us to make our parents understand what we want to do in life, we should at least try to share enough about our interests to them. Show them what you’re passionate about and maybe they’ll get a glimpse of the kind of activities you enjoy and the kind of person you want to be in the future.


It’s not disrespectful to make your own choice.

Saying no to something our parents made us do, like washing the dishes or buying toyo from the sari-sari store when we were younger, often comes off as disrespectful. But when it comes to life-altering decisions, it’s important to think about how much these choices would affect our lives before we make them. Deciding what is best for our own selves isn't wrong, as long as we're informed and guided by the right principles.

You’re ultimately the one who’s going to suffer in the long run.

Choosing to follow your parents’ wishes even if it isn’t what’s really best for you might just make you miserable in the long run. At the end of the day, you’re the one who’s going to take the brunt of exerting energy and effort towards something that doesn’t have your entire heart in it.

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Just think, they may be the ones expending the money for your tuition, but you’re also using up resources that are just as valuable—your time and energy, for instance—for something you’re not entirely into.

It’s really up to you to decide whether or not you want to pursue the course your parents chose, because either choice is totally okay, as long as you’re comfortable with it and it’s a decision you made for yourself.

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Mylene Mendoza
Candy Staff Writer
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