Be Like 'Most Girls' and Love and Take Pride in Yourself
It's been more than a month since Hailee Steinfeld, actress, singer, and known advocate of loving yourself and taking pride in yourself, unleashed her latest single, "Most Girls," onto the rest of the world. The song is incredibly catchy, so we're still pretty much in love with it. But more than that, the song is also an enthusiastic defense of girls and a celebration of all our differences. The title might sound a little like it's pitting girls against one another, but the video, which was released a couple of weeks ago, puts its foot down heavily on that assumption. In the opening scene, Hailee is talking to a guy and it looks as though they're getting along quite well—until the guy declares that she is "not like most girls," a statement that causes Hailee to recoil and dump the guy with haste.
Her reaction to the guy's statement is not unwarranted. Generally, saying "You're not like most girls" is meant to make a girl feel special and different from all other girls and therefore better and worthy of a guy's attention. But what it really does is create unnecessary competition and comparisons between girls, making it seem as though there is only one type of girl that every girl should aspire to be. And that's just not realistic, because we're all different—whether when it comes to our looks, our habits, our hobbies and interests, and the things that make us feel good about ourselves.
Such differences are exactly what Hailee sings about in "Most Girls."
One verse goes "Some girls feel best in their tiny dresses/Some girls in nothin' but sweatpants, looking like a princess/Some girls kiss new lips every single night/They're stayin' out late cause they just celebrating life," while another says "Some girls like to keep their physique real private/Some girls wear jeans so tight 'cause it feels so right."
The song might be the kind of jam that you can dance to and happily play on repeat while getting ready to go out, but it's also a good reminder for every single one of us to respect the way people choose to live their lives. We're all pretty used to judging other girls for many reasons—some girls would be judged for wearing makeup, for wearing certain types of clothing, for getting into traditionally non-feminine sports or activities, or for liking or dating many people—because we have been raised to expect girls to look and behave in certain ways. Thinking that we're so much better than other girls just because we believe our preferences are superior to theirs only fuels girl-on-girl conflict.
Instead, we have to remember that there's really no "correct" way to be a girl and that what other girls do with their lives really has no bearing on our own.
As the song says, We're all just playing a game in a way, trying to win at life, and things will be a lot easier for all of us if we realize that our differences are what make us interesting.
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"Today, I Won"
I always caught feelings for someone, and hoped so much that one day there could a thing between the two of us. I'm usually the one that makes the effort to buy and/or make cute gifts, chats them every other day, and stays up all night with him.
When I was 16, my childhood crush suddenly came back into my life. We'd constantly send updates to each other, recommend favorite songs and talk even the most random things. He'd even text me as early as 6 to just greet me good morning almost everyday. I hoped so much that when I confessed, he suddenly stopped talking to me.
For short, he ghosted me. Those 6 months I spent talking to him, allotting my time for him, and staying up until 3 am for him - all gone in a simple confession. Although I had a few crushes before him, he's the only one that got me in real pain. It was the kind of pain that I never thought I'd experience. It was the kind of pain that I couldn't believe.
After 7 years (it happened back in 2017), I thought he came back into my life to stay, but I guess he's just one of the guys who distanced. I felt a complete loser that time. But during this quarantine, everything was different. I caught feelings for someone else, but he treated me with the best kindness yet.
It happened at 2 am, May 30, 2020, when I impulsively confessed my feelings through messaging him. After saying my feelings, he responded with genuine and kind words. We both even complimented each other. Although the feelings didn't reciprocate, I still found a connection that can't be replaced with any guy.
To my 16 year old self, here I am, 18 and happy. You may have felt that time was the biggest regret and loss, but I'm here to tell you, we won. Today, I won.
Why our high school barkada is the best?
Remembering our high school years entails quite a lot reminiscing of the things we all been through when we were younger. You’ve experience a lot of new things during those 4 wonderful years and did most of them with the few people you consider your barkada. And through a series of all the lunch breaks you had together, the walks you took on the way home, and taking the same classes, you never thought you’d survive, you have made your life’s greatest friends.
Here are some of the reasons why your high school barkada is the best:
1. You figured out early teenage life together. The transition one have undergone from being a kid to a teenager wasn’t easy. For a moment you are not sure whether you should have played with your friends during recess or you should have just sat down and ate your food because you were too old for games. But whatever it is you chose to do, having friends who were as clueless as you make everything feel easier because you know, deep down, you’d figure things out eventually. You just need good company.
2. They were with you during your “jeje“ days. I bet you have pictures taken with Camera360 and Retrica. You also have pictures edited using Pizap with embarrassing captions and you somehow kept some of them so you could have something to post online during their birthdays.
3. They know all your exes. They will never EVER forget the name of an ex-boyfriend, an ex-fling, an ex-crush, and an almost you had. They will remind you of your every questionable love decision but you’ll just laugh anyway while saying “Past is past”.
4. They never judge you. They have welcomed you to their lives when you thought jelly shoes and checkered polos were the bomb! They were quick to have told your teachers that you were not feeling well so you could go home when you really just needed to poop. You tell them every embarrassing story you have and were fine with it.
5. You can always count on them. From the moment you first fell in love and the moment you first had your heart broken, they were with you. They were with you the moment you lost a parent and at moments when you thought you had nothing. Through every break-up and breakthrough, they were there to be your support system.
6. They are your family. Your high school friend’s family is your own family’s extension. Their parents are like your own. Don’t you feel a little kilig whenever your friend’s parents call you “anak”? And then eventually calling them mama and papa became so natural? I felt that, all the time.
7. They will always be your home. They are your place of refuge and security, the place who offers you their hands when you feel lost and the place you run to when you need saving. No matter how much time and distance separate you, they will be the one’s that you always long for and they are the one’s that you will always return to.
You're gonna bend and break and then at some point in your life, you feel like you don't want to fall in love again.
Not because you're no longer capable of loving but because you're so afraid to get hurt again that you don't want to take a risk anymore. And you're gonna wake up one day and realize that you're not the same person as you were yesterday. The heart aches, heartbreaks, frustration, you'll see, those will transform your whole being into something better.
Honey, move forward. Let go off all the things that are not meant for you. Let go of all the people who hurt you and take you for granted. Don't be stuck feeling miserable.
And don't turn that love into hate when you resent someone for hurting you or for breaking your heart. Just wish them well and let them go. Welcome the possibility of a beautiful love that will come your way. You're worthy of love that you keep on giving to other people. Keep that in mind.
I wish you well and all the happiness. You deserve it.
Here we are — with rough hands entwined, damned hearts at peace, broken souls resting with ease —savoring each passing moment before we part ways...hoping things will turn out to be okay. Here we are — standing still, keeping our earnest desire and ardent passion for each other at bay — hoping the Universe will finally grant us of the day that we no longer have to pretend... that things will no longer have to end.
Here we are — with crooked smiles, lingering touch that will last for a while -- gathering all the remaining courage to set each other free. Wishing for the day that our hearts will no longer have to worry. Here we are letting each other go. Even though we both know that the future is uncertain. Even though we're unsure if our paths will cross once again.