Are You Man Enough?

Tambayan tact
When other people take over your hangout

This usually happens at the start of the school year, when the mix of both old and new studes results in a general confusion of tambayan ownership. The entire tambayan situation is actually an iffy thing, because technically, you don’t really own any particular spot—it’s school (and therefore public) property.

Sometimes though, it’s an understood thing. When you and your buds’ butts warm those pebbly granite seats near the basketball court every T-TH, it’s considered your spot. So what do you do when you see new butts getting all snuggly in your tambayan?

A 100% girl reaction would be: Murmuring in a very confused manner with your barkada, pushing each other for several minutes and forcing someone to talk to the tambayan invaders.

A 100% guy reaction would be: Sauntering up to the tambayan, deliberately shoving the other bags away and saying, “What’s this trash doing on my turf?” A Mesozoic grunt at the end of the sentence is optional.

The right mix:
60% guy
30% girl
10% mini pink backpack

One way to prevent tambayan piracy is to ensure that your place is marked. Chip in to buy a cheap pink backpack filled with a couple of cheap notebooks and pencils. Leave the backpack at the tambayan at all times to firmly establish ownership. This bag will serve as your tambayan anchor, an assurance that your spot will not wander away and find new owners.

If you haven’t done this already and your tambayan has been invaded, calmly walk over to the new peeps and say hi. Explain that you don’t mean to be offensive or rude, but that you regularly wait and pass the time here in this particular place with your friends. While not saying anything specific, this very long English statement will deliver the message that 1) you’re smart, and 2) it’s your tambayan, so go away, fool.

As a host, you must also be gracious. Offer the tambayan as a temporary place for them to wait. If they insist that it’s their spot as well, say that you’re willing to work out a sharing schedule, then firmly place your backpack onto the table. Remember: you have every right to claim what is yours. Unless you’re wrestling the remote control with your bratty bro, and Mom says you have to share.

Read the next situation on the next page.