In the now classic musical My Fair Lady, Professor Henry Higgins ponders an age-old question in a crisp English accent: “Why can’t a woman be more like a man?” He-llow. Pink gloss soooo doesn’t go with a goatee.
However, there are days when you sometimes wish you could be more aggressive and confident, and less fussy or wimpy. Days when we need to get in touch with our Inner Guy.
Now. When that inner faucet of gushing guyness is opened, how much manliness should be poured out? Here are our manly estimates for every situation:
Idea I.D.
When a classmate steals your brilliant suggestion
You’re in class, bouncing off an idea with your best bud for the class play, when your Malfoy of a seatmate overhears your idea, raises her hand, and passes it off as hers. What do you do?
A 100% girl reaction would be: Widen your eyes, look at your best friend as if to say “I can’t believe she did that!?!” Then sulk silently for the rest of your life.
A 100% guy reaction would be: Grab your seatmate’s upraised hand and bend it backwards until the fingers break or she sobs for mercy—whichever comes first.
The right mix:
57.75% guy
42.25% girl
The thing about situations like these is that you never think it’ll happen to you, so when it does, you resort to dramatic reactions. Either you’re stunned into complete silence, or shocked into doing physical harm.
The first thing to remember is you have every right to claim what’s yours. And while you wish you could spray mace and scream “Mangnanakaw!” at your seatmate, you must keep calm.
Do not waste time gawking or making those soft, indignant “Ack! Ack!” sounds. Raise your hand immediately and say “That’s exactly what I was thinking.” Then go over the details of your idea, clearly and thoroughly. You will be praised for having such great details to the idea, and your sleazy seatmate will be the one sulking.
Read the next situation on the next page.