An Open Letter to the Girl Who Tries to Please Everybody

Let's be frank. We can never, ever please everybody. But still, we can't help but try. We try so hard that sometimes we forget our own happiness.
by Nicole Chiang   |  Nov 12, 2015
PHOTOS Majoy Siason
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Countless of times you've been told that you shouldn't let other people affect you, that you should live for yourself and not for others. It's so easy to say, but it's so hard to do. Sometimes, we just can't ignore the insecurity lurking in our minds. From how we look, to what we say, and how we act, it's normal to worry about what other people think of us. There's even a tendency to constantly feel like the people around us are judging our every move. The hard thing about being this way is that we never show people who we truly are. We push ourselves to be someone we feel that others will like and accept. We get easily affected by other people's opinion of us. To the tiniest comment, we mull over it so much to the point that we give them the power to run our lives. Life would have been so much better for us had we not concerned ourselves with every single thing people say about us. Because we try so hard to be accepted by others, it becomes hard for us to accept ourselves.


Remember this–no matter what you do, you will never please everybody. It takes a really long time to realize this, but once you do, it will get relatively easier. We try over and over again to win everyone's approval, but you know what? It's just not possible. Even a person treating a poor kid with kindness can be accused of having an ulterior motive. That's just the way the world works. You have to come to the point of realizing that sometimes, pleasing every single person is just not worth it. I know that it hurts when word reaches you that a particular person doesn't like you, but you have to let it go. No matter how hard you try, there will always be someone out there who won't like you. And that's OKAY. Learn to love yourself for who you are. Focus on the people who truly know you and accept you despite your flaws. Surrounding yourself with these people will eventually help you into also accepting yourself.

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Never try hard to be become someone you're not. If you spend your life trying to please everybody, you will never be happy. Do what you love because it makes you happy, not because you know that others will like you for it. It's parallel to when we offer help to others. Do it out of the innate kindness in you, not because you want to receive something in return or because you want people to see that you're a good person. It's difficult to not think of other people, but the paranoia won't help you in any way. They will judge you, whether you've been doing good or bad, so let them. Don't let their judgements cloud your mind and force you to do things for their sake. You have a life to live, and it definitely shouldn't be wasted trying to please everybody.

To the Girl Who's Trying to Fix Herself
An Open Letter to the Girl Who Thinks She's Not Enough
To the Girl Who Thinks She'll Never Be Loved

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About the author
Nicole Chiang Correspondent
A fan of music, theatre, movies, books and food, Nicole is an all-around over-achiever who won’t stop pushing for the best, and nothing but the best.